Ever wonder what your life would be like as a coach?
How would you get clients?
Would you work from home, an office, or both?
Would you coach one-on-one, lead groups, workshops or other options?
The International Coach Federation (ICF) has defined professional coaching as follows:
“Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. Coaching honors the client as the expert in his/her life and work and believes that every client is creative, resourceful, and whole.”
To understand what a relationship coach does, you need to understand what a professional coach does – and doesn’t do.
Let’s start with what a coach doesn’t do – they don’t give advice or expert opinions. So a skilled coach can coach someone around anything – weight loss, getting a job, getting along with their neighbor, building confidence, etc. You don’t need to be an expert at any of those things, you simply need to know how to coach.
You don’t need to give them advice because people usually know what they need to do, they just stuck and struggle to make the changes necessary. The art and science of coaching is using your skills to help them be creative, empowered and get into action, which doesn’t come from telling them stuff (advice) or directing them to do stuff, which just triggers their resistance even if they agree with you.
Instead, coaches listen and customize their approach to individual client needs. Their job is to support their client to enhance the skills, resources, and creativity that they already have; the true embodiment of “empowerment.” Telling someone what they should know, think and do is dis-empowering.
In short, coaches:
- Discover, clarify, and align with what the client wants to achieve
- Encourage client self-discovery
- Elicit client-generated solutions and strategies
- Support the client to get into action and achieve their desired results
- Ask questions like “What are some options you can think of for doing that?”
The next time someone asks your advice, instead of giving it, listen deeply and be curious. The person is the expert in their life – not you. They just need someone to help them find the answers they seek. You can do this by simply ask some questions that will help them find the answers they need.
Here are some examples:
- What’s holding you back from accomplishing that?
- What could the world give you to help you move forward?
- What are you afraid of?
- Is there another way to look at it?
You can see that these questions inspire someone to look inside and find their truth. Once they start to examine the way they think now, they can find the answers that lead them to reach their goals.
Applying coaching to relationships
Singles coaches start by focusing on the individual’s journey to self-discovery and helps singles get ready for a love relationship. It includes work on values, life purpose, life vision and relationship requirements. Coaches will be able to help clients increase their level of self-awareness about what they want in all areas of their life, including love relationships.
Once the client is ready for a relationship, the next step is to find and attract their lifetime partner. Attraction Coaching involves helping the client implement their Conscious Dating plan, goals for living their vision, develop action plans, define attraction venues, practice effective dating skills, address any self-sabotaging attitudes and choices that may arise, identify social networking opportunities and enhance their social, dating and intimacy skills.
Couples coaches work with every stage of coupledom, including pre-committed (dating), pre-marital, and committed couples. It begins with self-awareness and topics such as taking personal responsibility, communication, problem solving, intimacy and sex.
Couples coaching continues with functioning, committed couples who want to deepen their level of intimacy and connection, and co-create a blissful union.
What your life could look like as a Relationship Coach
Doris Helge, Ph.D.
About Doris’ coaching business:
- provides weekly teleclasses including, “Transform a Painful Relationship Into a Powerful Partnership”
- coaches singles and couples all over the world
- sends a monthly newsletter with special tips that help you when your relationship resiliency or confidence wane
- writes bestselling books like “Conquer Your Inner Critic” and “Transforming Pain Into Power”
produces videos and podcasts
- has been interviewed on CNN, NPR and “The Today Show”
- often quoted in major magazine and newspaper articles
- internet syndicated columnist
Dr. Jackie Black
About Jackie’s coaching business:
- works by telephone with individuals and couples all over the world
- distributes a monthly tip sheet
- creates podcasts
- guest expert on radio stations throughout the world
- cited in major magazines in the U.S. and abroad
- internet syndicated columnist, relationship blogger and educator
- writes relationship books
About Kim’s coaching business:
- One-on-one coaching
- In-person singles events
- couples retreats on her boat!
About Carol’s coaching business:
- coaches clients virtually all over the globe
- 2 monthly newsletters
- Soulmate Discovery Program
About Lewis’ coaching business:
- private coaching for singles and couples
- Conscious Dating program to individuals and groups
- face-to-face workshops
- couples enrichment workshops