September 2014 | |
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IN THIS ISSUE:
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Feature Article
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Copyright © 2014 by Terri Hase and The Relationship Coaching Institute. All rights reserved in all media. Used with permission.
The opinions stated are those of the author and not necessarily those of the staff, members, or leadership of Relationship Coaching Institute. |
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Ask Our Coaches |
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Is it a good idea to travel long distance in a new relationship?Dear Coaches,I have been dating my girlfriend for two months. I am really into her and we have tons of fun together. I really want to take a trip to Cancun and think it would be great to take her along. My worry is that it is too soon in our relationship to travel long distance. I also do not want her to think it is more serious than it is. I just want to bring her along for a fun vacation. Any pointers about traveling with a girlfriend for the first time?
![]() Michelle responds ...So glad that you and your girlfriend are enjoying yourselves! I am a firm believer in being forthright about where you stand in regards to the relationship as to avoid any confusion. If you two get along well it is best to communicate openly from the beginning. Talking about your concerns beforehand will save you both a headache later on. Some things to consider if you and your girlfriend do go on vacation together:
At the end of the day enjoy yourselves and have fun! Michelle Bianco | www.coachmichellebianco.com ![]() Barbara responds ...Two months into a relationship is not a very long time at all, and if you're "really into your girlfriend and have tons of fun with her", then continue to do just that. Relationships don't always start off this great, and it sounds like yours is off to a positive beginning. That's when you know you want to keep moving forward; whatever that would mean for the both of you. In a healthy relationship, you communicate your honest thoughts and feelings to one another so that you can have the opportunity to get to know, like, and trust the other person; and give them the chance to do the same with you. This is the beginning of your relationship, and if you're truly being who you are, and giving your girlfriend the space to do the same, then let the relationship do what it’s going to do and be what it's going to be. That said, instead of worrying about a possible outcome, just ask and hear what she's thinking and feeling about it. It will give you the opportunity to learn even more about one another, and possibly yourself; which is what relationships are all about. Barbara Ann Williams | www.barbaraannwilliams.com ![]() Lori responds ...It's all about the goals that each of you have in mind. Is she a party girl that just wants to have fun or is she wanting to get married at some point and are you a potential candidate? I know this sounds silly, but if you are really serious about her, my advice is to take it slow as you build your foundation. If you both are not serious and are just having fun…then yes, have fun! I would recommend having an honest talk with her, just like your question above; ask her if SHE thinks it's too fast. And before you go, make sure you know what she wants to get out of the trip and what a fun vacation is for her. If you need to compromise, discuss it before hand. For example, she might want to sit on the beach and you might want to explore, know this about each other. Traveling together is a wonderful way to learn how compatible you are together. I so appreciate that you are open to asking about this. Have a great trip!Lori Rubenstein, JD, CPC | www.lorirubenstein.com ![]() Randy responds ...At two months you are likely in the middle of the infatuation period and the relationship may or may not last. One question to ask yourself is how will you feel if the relationship evaporates soon after. Would you regret the trip? Why not go to Cancun six months from now, take one or two shorter trips in the meantime. The time spent planning the Cancun adventure could also be fun, sometimes the anticipation is 90% of the enjoyment! Randy Hurlburt | www.partnersinloveandcrime.com The opinions stated are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the staff, members, or leadership of Relationship Coaching Institute. This column answers questions submitted by our readers. Submit your question here www.relationshipcoach.org/ask-the-coach and it will be forwarded to our coaches all over the world. Each issue, we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches. Announcements
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