April 2014
Conscious Dating Singles News - March 2014



Creating an Exceptional Life!

By Sandi BoydExceptional Woman

The Webster's dictionary defines exceptional as the "state of being phenomenal, unique and extraordinary." This sounds like you, doesn't it?

Well it's true, even if you may not feel like it all the time or in all areas of your life. The power of tapping into what is exceptional about you can have profound effects on your joy and satisfaction in:

  • Social life and relationships
  • Physical Wellbeing
  • Financial Wellbeing
  • Spiritual connection
  • Career satisfaction

The first step to having all that you desire is in the awareness of what you bring to the table, what you desire for your life and what needs to be done to get you there.

Here are questions for you ponder as you begin to take inventory of your strengths:

  • When are you at your best?
  • What do you do when you are at your best?
  • How do you know when you are at your best?
  • What about that behavior makes you exceptional?
  • How do you feel when you are at your best?
  • What feedback have you received that validates your strengths?

Discovering your strengths

One of the best ways to discover your strengths is to ask the people who know you best. Ask as many people as you want and request their honest feedback. You will want to include friends, family members, colleagues, current and former bosses, your clergy, whomever that you value their input.

Step 1:

  • What do you see about me that is unique or exceptional?
  • What do you see as my key strengths or gifts?
  • What can you tell me about myself that I don't already know?
  • When am I at my best, what am I doing?
  • What do you see others relying on me for when there are struggles?

 Step 2:

As you listen to the answers, breathe deeply and let the answers sink in. Take this as an opportunity to value who you are and bask in appreciation and celebrate what is exceptional about you!

Partnering with a Coach

Many people find that partnering with a coach can greatly assist them taking action to close the gap between where they are and where they want to be. All the great athletes, CEO’s and leaders use coaches to take charge of their strengths to take them to the next level professionally and personally.

Your coach will support you in your growth and journey by partnering with you as you create the vision for your life and relationships. The coaching process supports you by creating a safe space where you can explore the barriers holding you back and identify the opportunities to make new choices. Your coach will support you as you create goals, learn skills and to develop specific action steps that purposefully move you toward your desired relationships/life.

Live and love consciously!

Copyright © 2014 by Sandi Boyd. All rights reserved in all media. Used with permission.

Sandi Boyd
Sandi Boyd PCC Certified Relationship Coach for Singles, is passionate in helping single, professional baby boomers to over come their greatest fear -
living a lonely, loveless life. She supports her clients in developing and implementing the crystal clear steps to find the partner of their dreams!

Sandi is a graduate of Georgetown University Executive coaching program and is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) through the International Coach Federation. Sandi is a single mom, human resource consultant, Certified relationship coach for singles and a co author of the book "Sexy Secrets for a Juicy Love Life."

For more information visit www.sandiboyd.relationshipcoach.org

Ask Our Coaches

What's wrong with wanting to be single?

Happy Woman Dear Coaches,

I'm single and not at all interested in ever getting married. I have a full life filled with friends, travel, and hobbies, and I'm sincerely happy with being alone.

My family is always pressuring me to find someone and telling me that it isn't normal to be okay with being alone. They think I will change my mind if I ever find "the one", but I can honestly say that it's just not important to me.

How can I get them to see that I'm okay and this is simply a live-style choice?

~ Keisha.

Marian Meade

Marian responds ...

I congratulate you for discovering what you want and creating the lifestyle of your dreams! It sounds wonderful! I would venture to guess that very few people can say that they are as happy as you are.

I encourage you to continue your ideal lifestyle and give up trying to convince your family that you are happy. The best way to show them is by example. You know that you are loving you life and that's all that matters. You can do this respectfully by simply changing the subject whenever they bring it up. I encourage you to let go of their expectations of you and continue to please yourself.

Marian Meade | www.marriagemindedcoaching.com

Daniel Leonardi

Daniel responds ...

To start with, you may or may not get your parents to see that you are happy with being alone. Sounds like they might be coming from an era where it's important for a woman to find a man, get married and live happily ever after. What was yesterday's norm obviously doesn't work for you.

One way to help your parents is to let them know that "not normal" is becoming very normal. Statistically speaking, 44% of the adult US population is single and shows that it is a viable way of life for many individuals. http://www.statisticbrain.com/dating-relationship-stats/

Secondly, if they don't get it, instead of getting them to understand you, you might want to try shifting your perspective. Can you be okay with the way they see you no matter what? Can you accept their point of view without trying to change them? This may be a challenge for you at first. However, this might be a chance for you to accept yourself and accept how your parents see you on a whole new level.

There are many gifts when you are able to let go of how things "should be." Freedom and acceptance, to name a few.

Daniel Leonardi | www.loveunlimitedcoaching.com

Anita Myers

Anita responds ...

Congratulations on knowing who you are and staying focused on what pleases you! People spend decades living on the fence when it comes to knowing what they want, especially when family places pressures.

Convincing others what your definition of happy is can sometimes feel like two sides trying to mix oil with water. In this situation, peace can be a two-step process:

1) You must have peace with your own decision; and
2) They must find peace in your decision.

You're already halfway there, having completed the first step. To help your family reach step two:

A) Share your appreciation in them wanting what they think is best for you.
B) Inform them respectfully where you are today; and
C) Explain clearly what you’ll need from them to support your decision.

Everyone has their own journey. Their current intention may ultimately be based upon what they think or know has worked for them, and they figured it is supposed to work for you. Hopefully in time they will understand, adjust and appreciate your choices. No matter the outcome, I'm proud of your love for yourself and desire to have your family love you just the beautiful way you are.

Anita Myers | www.innerscopeconsulting.com

Jeannine Lee

Jeannine responds ...

As a divorce coach who has seen far too many relationships go badly after pursuing a relationship that was against their better judgment, I applaud you. You sound like a very conscious and aware individual. Yay for you.

As far as "getting them to see" anything, I wouldn't count on it. This is a time for boundaries. Start gently at first.You might want to thank them for their heartfelt concern and let them know that it is your life and you are the one who has to live it. If they persist, set some limits. "I don't want to hear about this any longer. If and when I am ready to be in a relationship, I will let you know." (Or whatever feels true for you.)

Too many people date from a place of loneliness or neediness because they don't have a life they love and they need someone to make it better. That is a recipe for heartbreak. You are holding to your personal integrity. Sometimes the life we love is right in front of us and we don't see it. I'm happy for you that you do.

Jeannine Lee | www.beyonddivorce.com/services/after-your-divorce/grea-singleness/

This column answers questions submitted by our readers. Submit your question here www.relationshipcoach.org/ask-the-coach and it will be forwarded to our coaches all over the world. Each issue, we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.


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Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life

Co-authored by RCI Members
Antoinette Freeman, Renessa Rios, and Sandi Boyd

Proven Tips Successful Single Women Use that Help Them Avoid Frustration, Unhappiness and the Worry They'll be Alone Forever

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Darlene Steele | Editor, Couple for Life News | CONTACT DARLENE
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