These programs provide
advanced information, strategies, and tips to help you find the love of
Each program includes the
MP3 audio recording, complete written transcript, and Study Guide to
follow along and take notes.
Program #1- Are You
Ready for Love?
Program #2- Being The
Program #3- Ten Steps
for Finding Your Soul Mate
Program #4- Conscious
Dating: How to Connect to Your Life Vision
Program #5- Conscious
Dating for Boomers: Finding Love After 50
Program #6- Scouting:
Where to Find Your Soul Mate
Program #7- Advanced
Strategies for Sorting, Screening, and Testing
Program #8- Conscious
Internet Dating: Using Your Computer to Find Your Soul Mate
Dating at a Distance: What to Do When You're Attracted to Someone 1200
dating someone do you ever wonder-
"Is this the right
relationship for me?"
Our Conscious Mating
Audio Programs provide detailed, comprehensive strategies for dating
and mating, addressing all the relationship and decision-making
challenges that arise when you're single and seeking your soul mate.
These audio programs are
recorded from our live tele-seminars and include the MP3 audio file for
playing on your computer, MP3 player (iPod or other), or burning onto a
CD, AND a complete PDF transcript for following along and making notes.
Program #1- Is This the
Right Relationship for Me? Introduction to the Pre-commitment Stage
Program #2- Am I Ready
to Be a Couple?
Program #3- Finding
Lasting Love by Experiencing Your Experience
Program #4- Should We
Program #5- Dealing
With Our Baggage
Program #6- Are We
Program #7- Sharing Our
Program #8- Deciding
"Is This The One?"
Program #9- When We
Must Say Goodbye
them out at www.ConsciousMatingAudio.com
Ask Our Coaches:
Taking a Break vs Breaking Up
I want to take a 'break' from my relationship...."
This column answers
questions submitted by our readers. Submit your questions to
who will forward them to our coaches all over the world. Each issue,
we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.
I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months and we've had the best time
ever. We've both professed our love for each other and we're both
interested in a long-term commitment.
Lately, I've been reading
a variety of books on self-improvement, spirituality, and meditation.
As a result, I now have this desire to get "quiet." I want to focus
more on myself. I want to wake up in the morning and just think about
me. That presents a bit of a problem since I'm actively dating someone
who I care about very much.
I want to take a "break"
from my relationship. I don't want to break up, but I would like to
"take a break" -- to do some personal introspection. I don't want to
lose my relationship -- I treasure it and I'm not sure I could find one
so perfect ever again. But, at the same time, there is a deep longing
to explore my life on my own.
I want to take a break
for 2 to 3 months during the summer. I can bet that my boyfriend won't
go for this. I don't want to let go of this relationship. Any
You have hit dead center
on one of the primary issues in relationships. It is the conflict
between the need for freedom and the need for connection. This conflict
almost always manifests itself, sooner or later, and for you it simply
seems to be "sooner."
This is not just a "light" conflict. It is one that goes very deep into
the human psyche and is fueled by misguided social conventions as to
what is right and proper in relationships.
The central battleground for relationships, therefore, is fighting out
each person's need for both autonomy and closeness, and determining if
there is a higher ground that is possible as a couple.
The solution is to find a series of "in-between" relationship steps.
Conventional all-or-nothing, boyfriend/girlfriend templates leave no
room for unusual solutions unique to each couple. If you can get
outside the box of seeing this as "staying together or breaking up,"
and if your partner can do so as well, then perhaps you can build
something special. It will help if you both see the relationship as
potentially long term, and not just 6 months or a year. That way 2 or
3 months one way or another is not a long time.
Randy Hurlburt | www.PartnersinLoveandCrime.com
| 858. 455.0799
I am excited for you and the new "season" you are entering. Being quiet
and growing spiritually is important for you, as well as those around
you. You indicate that you have what sounds like a good relationship
with your boyfriend.
What about sitting down with him, expressing your desires honestly, and
asking him for his opinion about how you could do this while still
considering his needs in the relationship? This would affirm
him, while also asking for what you need. How he responds to this
honest exchange could tell you about the future relationship you would
The Bible speaks about husbands and wives setting time aside for a
period of prayer. Although this applies to a different set of
circumstances than yours, it does seem to apply – even in a
marriage to allow time apart for prayer. Could this apply to your
situation? Also, what about asking him to join you in his own spiritual
journey at the same time?
Michelle Blacksher |
I congratulate you on
wanting to explore yourself and do some personal work; however, is it
really necessary to take a complete break to do this?
You say you've both
professed your love for each other and are interested in the
relationship being long term. You also say you're not sure you could
find such a perfect relationship ever again! Two to three months break,
at this stage of a relationship, is a long time to hope or expect that
someone will just hang around and wait until you decide you're ready.
Ask yourself how you would feel if he made the same request of you.
Would it feel comfortable, safe and loving?
I encourage you to ask
yourself why you think you need to take a "complete break" for 2 to 3
months to do personal introspection. Quiet time is something we can
find within ourselves even when there is a partner around.
It is possible to do personal work while in a relationship provided
there are some boundaries in place so you get the time you need and he
also gets what he wants.
If you are truly sure
this man is "the one," perhaps you can choose to make some compromises.
Maybe consider taking a few days, each month, where you get your "quiet
time" and have no contact during that down time. If you really don't
want to lose him, I would encourage you to talk to him about how you
feel on this issue and work out something that feels comfortable for
both of you. I wish you all the best.
Hazel Palache | www.TheAstonishingPowerofYou.com
I admire you for
listening to this calling you speak about as so often people just push
that to the back burner. Your question seems very black and white --
like it is an "either/or" situation. My question is, "Could you take
time for you and the introspection that is calling to you and still
find time for your boyfriend, or does it have to be a complete
separation for 2 to 3 months?"
My guess is there might
be several right answers if you are willing to look for them. I suggest
you have a long heart-to-heart conversation with your boyfriend where
you share, in detail, what is going on for you. This would be an
excellent test for the relationship. If he doesn't get it at
all, then you will be learning some good information about him and how
he is likely to respond to you and your needs as your relationship
If you don't take the
time you need now, you may regret it for possibly the rest of your
life. Search for the gray area -- the win/win situation where everyone
gets what they want. I bet you will find it, and if you don't, this
relationship probably isn't as perfect as you thought.
Ron Maddox | www.LoveConsciously.com
Moving Beyond the Break-Up:
5 Steps to Take Before Dating Again
By Susan Ortolano, M.A.
So, you have ended a
relationship. You are feeling lost, sad, and angry among a host of
other emotions. You are experiencing many thoughts in your mind and you
are drawing conclusions, making assumptions, and declarations as you
try to analyze what happened and decide where to go from here. The need
for boxes of chocolate may be quite strong at this point!
What I suggest is not
about finding a new hobby, running away from home, or buying a new
wardrobe. It is also not about jumping back into the dating world as
fast as you can. While those are logical external next steps, I am
suggesting a different approach.
I am prescribing an
internal retreat process that will not only help you heal, but also
will rebuild your inner foundation so your external steps are more
conscious and effective. This process will also profoundly affect your
next relationship experience.
While getting back into
the dating world may be part of your plan, I recommend these five steps
before posting your next internet profile.
1: Wallow in it!
Huh? Yes, wallow in it.
It's important to allow the gut-wrenching raw emotions to come up to
the surface. Why? Well, we normally resist them and do our best to
stuff them back in. When we resist them, they persist; they push back
even harder and when we suppress them, they grow even stronger.
When we embrace the
sadness, anger and frustration that come up, we can then let them run
their course and then set them free. So write it out on paper, scream
it out in a pillow, cry, do whatever you need to do. Just let those
feeling do their dance.
2: Reconnect with Yourself
Often when we come out of
a break-up, we want to escape. We want to move away from the pain, the
thoughts, and the memories. We may also want to escape from ourselves
and from who we are. But this is the moment to do the opposite and to
take contrary action.
It's time to turn inward
and reconnect with yourself. You have just left a world that was about
someone else's needs and wants; it's time to center yourself in your
own. Spend some time in stillness each day -- whether you spend 5
minutes or 60 -- just be in your own energy.
Get to know yourself
again. Check in with your core, rediscover your values; reconnect with
your inner sense of spirit. Fall in love with yourself again.
3: Examine and Release the "Stories"
Notice your thoughts.
Notice your assumptions. Pay attention to the conclusions you've drawn.
These are the beliefs that create the energy that becomes your reality.
Following a break-up, these "stories" intensify and feel real. Let them
speak and tell their tale! Invite them forward, examine them; see what
they are trying to create for your future.
These "stories" are
actually based on "what was." We cannot change "what was," but we don't
have to let it predict our future. There are several techniques that
help this process along and are quite effective. I recommend The Sedona
Method® and the work of Byron Katie. These inner "stories" and
beliefs can influence the future that hasn't even happened yet. After
you examine and release these thoughts, you can tell a new and improved
4: Vision a New Future Relationship
Creating a new vision for
your life not only feels good, but also gives it a new direction. It
opens up space and allows a new path to appear in front of you. There
may be a future relationship on that path and you may even find some of
your relationship needs, wants, and requirements have actually evolved.
Create it in writing and create a vision board with inspiring photos
that are vibrant and alive to you. You can then energize and visualize
your board daily.
5: Acknowledge the gains
Every relationship offers
opportunities to grow, evolve, and expand your consciousness.
Relationships can bring you closer to your spirituality, inform you of
issues that require healing, and let you know where you stand in
relationship to yourself. At first, it may not seem clear that there
were actual gains or blessings from your time with that person; but as
you move forward, you'll be able to see them.
Maybe it helped you to
know how strong you are or showed you a particular quality you have.
When we can see the gains and blessings, we can look back and
appreciate our journey, knowing it has brought us that much closer to
who we really are and to having the right relationship.
So, before you run out
and cut your hair off, buy a new car, or eat 5 quarts of ice cream,
give yourself the dignity of the inner retreat time. Allow yourself to
grieve, examine, release, vision, and acknowledge, so that when you get
back into the dating world, you are rejuvenated, open, and ready to
embrace love again. And, of course, a good relationship coach can guide
you through that process!
Copyright © 2008
by Susan Ortolano. All rights reserved in all media.
Susan Ortolano, M.A., is a
Psychic Relationship/Life Coach & award-winning educator. She
is a Certified Master Relationship Coach and Instructor with the
Relationship Coaching Institute. Susan holds a Master's Degree in
Spiritual Psychology from University of Santa Monica, a Bachelor's
degree from UCLA and Teaching Credentials from CSU Dominguez Hills. www.RadiantPathways.com
7 Dates that Won't Break the Bank
by LaTricia Smith
Going out on dates, on a
regular basis, can really add up. If you would like to save money and
still have fun, consider these seven low or no-cost date options.
a Themed Picnic
Everyone loves a picnic,
but a themed picnic is even better. How about a detective-themed
picnic? All you have to do is pack up your picnic food, grab a blanket
and some Post-it notes with clues written on them.
Have your date find the
clues in your picnic area. The answers to the clues can be anything you
packed, anything either of you is wearing, or something in the
environment. If you aren't the outdoorsy type, make a picnic area in a
cozy room in your home and carry out the theme.
a Trip to the Gardens
Most large cities have
botanical gardens with low admission fees. In fact, many have special
times of the month when entrance is free. Take advantage of the free
admissions days and visit the gardens. Take a light lunch with you and
sit on a bench in the gardens and enjoy one another's company. After
lunch, take a stroll through the gardens and enjoy a wonderful
conversation while admiring the beautiful plants and flowers.
and Prepare a Meal Together at Home
Sit down with your date
and come up with a meal plan. Make sure you have all of the ingredients
on hand. Each person is then assigned a task to complete in preparing
the meal. Be creative. Once the meal is prepared, sit down together and
enjoy your creation. After dinner, clean up together and sit on the
porch and star gaze.
a Bike Ride
Dust off your bikes and
head to the park to take a spin on the bike trails. Bike riding is fun,
relaxing and great exercise. After the ride is over, park your bikes
and enjoy the great outdoors. You might combine this with a picnic so
you can have another great activity to look forward to.
a Free Cultural Event
Many cities have free or
low-cost museums. Museums are great places to talk and learn about each
other as well as to enjoy art, history or whatever the theme of the
museum. Items in museums can serve as great conversation pieces, which
helps you avoid those awkward moments of silence.
Your Local Coffee Shop
You can't go wrong with a
coffee shop -- even if you don't drink coffee. Coffee shops usually
have live music, poetry readings, and other events on different nights.
If there is no event going on, consider bringing a board game along to
play while sipping on your favorite hot or cold drink.
a Movie Night at Home
Movie night at home is a
great low-cost date. Turn your living room into a movie theater. Pick
up a couple of movies from your local movie rental store along with
popcorn, drinks and movie theater candy. Now it's time to dim the
lights, increase the volume on the TV and enjoy the movie. Remember to
turn off your cell phones.
The possibilities for
low-cost ways to enjoy time together are endless. All you need is
imagination. Think of all of the things you already do that don't cost
you much money, add a twist to them and now you have the perfect venue
to enjoy with your special date.
Copyright © 2008 by LaTricia Smith. All rights reserved in all
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NEW RELATIONSHIP? Congratulations in moving forward in your life
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Links to Us
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Dating Newsletter for Singles Tara@relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
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