Success Story of the Year Contest Results
the two year anniversary of the publication of Conscious
Dating: Finding the Love of your Life in Today's World
here are the results of our second annual-
First Place Winner- Patricia Drury
Success Story of the Year Contest
Second Place Winner- Faith Meenan
Honorable Mention- David Steele!
out last year's winners here
Do you have a success story to share?
Go immediately to www.consciousdating.com/contest.htm
Know anyone with a success story to share? Please
forward this information to them!
Know a single who hasn't read Conscious Dating and is a success story
in the making? With 6
months to go there is plenty of time to learn and apply the principles
of Conscious Dating. Please send them to www.consciousdating.com
Edition of Conscious Dating Book!
The second edition of
Conscious Dating has just been released. Here are some changes in the
- New sub-title-
"Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life That You Love"
- "Conscious Dating"
more clearly defined and explained in the Introduction
- Paperback (second
edition is not available in hardback)
- "Dating Red Flags
Checklist" added to Chapter 8
- Jeanette Ball's
inspiring Conscious Dating Success Story of the Year added to the
The impetus for the
second edition was our distributor requiring a paperback version for
placement in bookstores. As long as we were going to publish a
paperback version, it seemed like a good idea to update the book with
the new material developed since publication.
The first edition
hardback and CD is still available on our website at www.consciousdating.com
The second edition is now
available at BarnesandNoble.com
as well as bookstores around the country.
These programs provide
advanced information, strategies, and tips to help you find the love of
Each program includes the
MP3 audio recording, complete written transcript, and Study Guide to
follow along and take notes.
Program #1- Are You
Ready for Love?
Program #2- Being The
Program #3- Ten Steps
for Finding Your Soul Mate
Program #4- Conscious
Dating: How to Connect to Your Life Vision
Program #5- Conscious
Dating for Boomers: Finding Love After 50
Program #6- Scouting:
Where to Find Your Soul Mate
Program #7- Advanced
Strategies for Sorting, Screening, and Testing
Program #8- Conscious
Internet Dating: Using Your Computer to Find Your Soul Mate
Dating at a Distance: What to Do When You're Attracted to Someone 1200
them out at www.ConsciousDatingAudio.com
dating someone do you ever wonder-
"Is this the right
relationship for me?"
Our Conscious Mating
Audio Programs provide detailed, comprehensive strategies for dating
and mating, addressing all the relationship and decision-making
challenges that arise when you're single and seeking your soul mate.
These audio programs are
recorded from our live tele-seminars and include the MP3 audio file for
playing on your computer, MP3 player (iPod or other), or burning onto a
CD, AND a complete PDF transcript for following along and making notes.
Program #1- Is This the
Right Relationship for Me? Introduction to the Pre-commitment Stage
Program #2- Am I Ready
to Be a Couple?
Program #3- Finding
Lasting Love by Experiencing Your Experience
Program #4- Should We
Program #5- Dealing
With Our Baggage
Program #6- Are We
Program #7- Sharing Our
Program #8- Deciding
"Is This The One?"
Program #9- When We
Must Say Goodbye
them out at www.ConsciousMatingAudio.com
Ask Our Coaches:
How Long Should I Wait to Get Married?
How long should I wait? ..."
This column answers
questions submitted by our readers. Submit your questions to
who will forward them to our coaches all over the world. Each issue,
we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.
I have known this man for 3 months and love him very much. How much
longer should I wait before getting married?
Being in love is
such a wonderful place to be. I would, however, encourage you to get to
know each other for a little longer.
You haven't said anything about whether he has asked you to marry him.
My first questions would be: How does this man feel about marriage?
Does he want to take the relationship to another level? Also, is there
some reason you are in a hurry to get married?
Make sure there are no
red flags popping up and that you both have the same end goals for
life. I usually encourage my clients to have fun, get to know each
other and become friends before they go to the next level.
If this is the "right"
relationship for you, waiting a little while longer will only make it
stronger. Marriage is a big step so you both want to be on the same
page. If you haven't read it already, I encourage you to read David
Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World
which you can get from www.consciousdating.com
Palache | www.TheAstonishingPowerofYou.com
I'm often asked a
question similar to the one you've asked Heather. Men also ask similar
questions, although not as often.
The amount of time in
question varies -- some having dated for as short as three months and
others for as long as three years. But the question is always the same
- "How much longer should I wait to get married?"
Here's what you need to
know: Relationships take a long time to unfold, and the longer you
spend getting to know someone, the better chance you have of it
surviving into the future.
Here's an analogy (from a
guy!). Think of the dating phase as the barrel of a gun. A short barrel
pistol cannot be relied on to hit a target 100 yards away. The longer
the barrel of a gun (for example a rifle), the more likely you will hit
your target at long range. Similarly, the longer the dating phase, the
more likely it is that you will have the ultimate relationship that you
You need to know not just
who your partner is right now, but how quickly, or slowly, he or she is
able to progress within the relationship. While conventional wisdom
says that people don't change, the truth is that they must, though most
do so unwillingly and slowly, and many do not change at all.
You need to know more
than just the length of the barrel of your rifle, or in this case, the
length of the dating process. This is because with love it is not a
straight shot to the target. Predicting love is like shooting in a
strong crosswind; the "winds of change" will cause a curved trajectory.
Therefore you need a means of testing and evaluating progress. How much
time has elapsed? How far have you come? And what is the rate of change
towards your target?
Another important element
is how much you love this person. The more you love him (or her), the
longer you will be willing to wait. You should wait until the observed
progress and the "target" line up on your radar screen.
Note that true love does
not have deadlines -- but there can be "milestones of progress," and
"progressive commitments." Also, the "target" can differ from one
person to another. One person wants marriage and kids, another wants
marriage but no kids, a third wants to live together, but not marriage,
Know your target and know
what you want, take enough time, and observe progress, including the
rate of change. When the curved trajectory of your particular
relationship appears as though it will hit your unique target, and you
both agree, then it is time to "pull the trigger."
Hurlburt | www.loveisnotagame.com
| 858. 455.0799
There's no "right" length of time to wait to get married. A short
courtship can make a lifelong marriage, just as a long courtship
doesn't preclude divorce.
Before jumping in, review your relationship plan. Is he a match for
your requirements, needs, and wants? Does his vision and yours fit
together? If the answer is "no," then slow down! Enjoy your life as a
successful single, and don't compromise. Wait for a great partner who
supports the life you want.
But what if he is a great
match, at least according to your relationship plan? Then check those
other indicators -- your heart, chemistry, and especially your
inner-knowing. If there's any doubt or feeling of being rushed, then
If you decide to wait,
then schedule a date when you'll revisit the question, and don't
discuss it before then. Otherwise, repeated debates about whether to
get married may get in the way of the relationship. In the end,
relationship plans, intuition and love are just indicators to help you
choose. The real choice is always up to you.
Pope | www.WildWiggle.com
Determining when marriage
is right is more of a function of criterion and less a function of
time; however, time does play a role in this equation.
My question is, "How well
can you get to know a person in 3 months?" The answer to that question
is different for each person. This is why I say it is more about
criterion. In the Conscious Dating program, we help participants
identify their requirements, needs and wants for the relationship.
Notice I did not say for the partner. If you haven't defined clearly
what you want in a relationship, you won't recognize it when it shows
non-negotiable terms that must be met before you agree to commit to a
partner. Most people are vaguely aware of their requirements. This is
the number one reason why the divorce rate is so high. I suggest that
you take the necessary action to determine very clearly what your
requirements are. A Conscious Dating program or seeking out a good
relationship coach is advised. Take the time and do your homework so
you can feel secure in your decision to wed.
Maddox | www.LoveConsciously.com
How could you possibly know that you love someone in three months? Lust
for someone, yes, but love someone in such a short period of time?
There are a multitude of
things you need to consider about any person you intend to marry. Three
months is barely enough time to know the obvious visible things about
another person much less the hidden aspects of a person's mind, his
dreams and desires, values, life purpose and vision. These thoughts and
ideas create behaviors and actions that will have long-term
ramifications as to whether or not this individual, together with you,
can create a partnership and relationship that will stand the test of
Asking about getting married after such a short period of time tells me
that first you need to look deep into your being and discover the inner
workings of the woman called Heather before you can even begin to
contemplate marriage. A Relationship Coach would be the perfect person
to help you to do that.
Tanner | www.FastTrackHappiness.com
Matchmaking 101: An Introduction
Interview with RCI Coach Ann Robbins
Coach and Certified Professional Matchmaker Ann Robbins provides us
with a glimpse into the world of matchmaking - what it is, who it's
for, and how it works.
What is a Matchmaker?
Matchmakers are experts in the field of helping people find love.
The Matchmaker has the
ability to understand their clients' needs, wants, and desires through
the use of intuition and translation. The Matchmaker is able to convey
trust and compassion, allowing the client to openly communicate without
fear or discomfort. A professional Matchmaker embraces, values, and
wholeheartedly believes in their ability to seek and find love for
others by bringing people together who otherwise may never have met.
By carefully matching
clients based on their values, preferences, personal style, and
relationship goals, the Matchmaker is always in their clients' corner
working one-on-one, coordinating dates, giving and receiving feedback,
and putting fun back into dating by making it easier and a more
productive and rewarding process.
What led you to become a matchmaker?
Robbins: My decision to
become a matchmaker was a very personal one. As a Senior Vice President
with an international human resources consulting firm, I had spent over
a decade in the corporate world working with companies and their people
in the area of career transition and executive coaching.
I found my passion to be
"the happy ending", whether it was helping someone land that perfect
job or coaching someone to a new level of performance for success.
Either way, my "charge" came from knowing I had made a difference in
helping someone move through change in a positive way.
In 1999, I became widowed
after a twenty-year happy marriage. I ventured into the dating world in
the year 2000 and was totally unprepared for what I found. Not only did
I have difficulty meeting quality singles, but I found my well meaning
friends were clueless when it came to fixing me up on blind dates.
I turned to the Internet
dating sites and then visited a couple local dating services as well as
a local matchmaker. I walked away from that whole experience knowing
there was a desperate need for helping professional people find each
other. I had found my next career move. A Matchmaker was born!
Where do you start when a client comes to you? What process do you take
Robbins: Once we complete
the pre-screening, which typically takes place by phone, we set a time
to meet in person. At that meeting I conduct an in-depth interview and
profile assessment as well as learn about their background, prior
relationships, family relationships and their relationship goals.
In addition to the
typical questions regarding interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes, I
try to learn as much as I can about their ideal mate, the qualities and
characteristics they are looking for as well as their non-negotiables.
It is during this interview when I determine whether or not I will
accept them as a client or recommend they receive coaching prior to
pursuing a new relationship.
How do you prepare clients for dates? Do you take them through the
Conscious Dating program before you take them through the matchmaking
Robbins: Clients are
prepared for dates in a variety of ways. Once I determine a potential
match for a client I call that client, give them an overview of the
candidate's profile, discuss with them why I think this might be a good
match, and answer any questions they may have. Usually their concern is
chemistry, so I try to describe presence and persona more than "how
they look." This is the intuitive part of matchmaking. Sometimes I just
The critical piece is the
feedback - before and after each introduction. I need to know what
worked, what did not, and how to fine-tune going forward. Additionally
I am able to help my clients by sharing feedback from their match. This
helps spot red flags if a client repeatedly gets the same feedback from
Use of the Conscious
Dating program prior to matchmaking is determined individually. If the
individual is not relationship ready, I would strongly urge they
undergo coaching first.
When you pre-screen people to include them within your database of
potential dates, what types of things do you assess or ask?
Robbins: The first thing I
do is ask some pre-screening questions to determine if it makes sense
to move forward. A few general areas are covered - for example, the
person must be single and fully extracted from any prior relationships.
No baggage, including legal and financial. Additionally, they must be
seeking and be ready, willing, and able to enter into a committed
relationship. I ask if they are a US Citizen, if they have any history
of drug or alcohol abuse, and if they are employed. They must be
willing to undergo a background check.
What is the best way for a single man or woman to prepare themselves
for working with a matchmaker?
Robbins: They should begin
by undergoing an introspective self-assessment. It is very important
they understand who they are, what they want, and that their
expectations of their ideal mate are realistic. Next, understand that
matchmaking is not about finding dates. Most people can do that well
enough on their own. Therefore, be prepared and understand that my job
is not to keep their social calendar full. My job is to only introduce
them to potential matches that meet their criteria, and vice versa.
Quality -- not quantity.
Why would someone choose a matchmaker?
Robbins: Simply put -
because their time, and their heart, are important.
Copyright © 2008
by Ann Robbins. All rights reserved in all media.
Ann Robbins is founder
and president of LifeWorks Matchmaking, a professional matchmaking and
relationship coaching firm. She is a Certified Professional Matchmaker,
a member of the Professional Matchmaking Network through the
Matchmaking Institute of New York and a professional Relationship Coach
through the Relationship Coaching Institute. www.lifeworksmatchmaking.com
The Adventure of Finding Love Over 50:
Remember Why You're a Catch!
by Cher Tanner
Coach Cher Tanner offers practical dating advice no matter what your
age. When you appreciate why you're a "catch," others will too. Cher
offers a fun exercise to help you get started.
Many of us find ourselves
in a rather scary later-in-life place -- single for the first time in
many years -- divorced, widowed, leaving a long-term relationship or
never married. The bottom line is that we are alone and we do not like
it. What can we do?
Remember Why You're
A Catch! If you don't
believe in yourself, who will?
Look at this idea of
being a catch from two different perspectives. First, look on the
"macro" level. Consider the idea that a later-in-life person, like you,
is a good catch. Secondly, look on a "micro" level, considering why
you, personally, are a good catch.
the macro perspective,
think about all the learning and life experience later-in-life people
have acquired which lead to wisdom and development of the social graces
so essential to dating and love relationships. Life experiences provide
greater insight into others, along with a degree of trusted intuition.
Because of emotional maturity, later-in-life singles are more apt to
become conscious daters who have a plan. They have learned that diving
in, before checking if there's water in the pool, has led to the
serious head injuries of life like disappointments, heartaches,
financial difficulties, and broken egos. Because they know that "Rome
wasn't built in a day," their cultivation of deferred gratification,
sorely lacking in youth, leads to far greater success in dating and
They have freedom and joy
in having raised kids who are now grown and gone, giving privacy in
their own homes to develop friendships and intimacies. No longer
working from 9 to 5, maybe retired and free from struggling
financially, many now have that freedom to bring to the dating arena.
let's consider the micro perspective
- focusing on your authentic self. To discover your unique personal
wealth of character and virtues, you may want to reestablish a
fundamental understanding of who you really are. What is your vision
and life purpose? What values do you hold close to your heart and use
for conducting life? You may not have asked yourself these questions in
many years, if ever. But you must know these answers to embrace your
a terrific exercise to help you get started
-- the Centennial Salute. Write down 100 things about yourself that are
good and positive. Include qualities, talents, skills, activities,
successes, awards, accomplishments, good deeds, etc. Some people find
this difficult and it often takes more than one sitting to complete.
Stick with it for a while. Once your easily accessed thoughts have been
expressed, you will often find that deeper, more meaningful thoughts
begin to emerge.
Once you have succeeded
in reaching the 100th positive statement, you will most assuredly
"Remember Why You're A Catch." When you appreciate who you are, others
will as well.
Copyright © 2008
by Cher Tanner. All rights reserved in all media.
Cher Tanner is a trained
RCI relationship coach. She works with boomers over 50 who want to find
their true heart-mates. She is also a certified Authentic Happiness
Coach trained under renowned psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman as well
as a member of the International Coach Federation. www.FastTrackHappiness
F`ree monthy Conscious
Conscious Dating Audio Programs
our website at www.ConsciousDating.org
for FREE cutting-edge information and tools for finding the love of
your life, including:
" Register for our 5-Day e-Program for Singles, "How To Find Your Life
" Take our proprietary Relationship Readiness Quiz
" Listen to outstanding audio programs such as "Find the Love of Your
Life AND The Life That You Love" and "Conscious Dating for Relationship
" Access our Knowledge Bank for innovative relationship tools,
strategies and concepts
" Check out our talented RCI-trained Relationship Coaches at www.ConsciousDating.org/coach
a resource for singles offered by Relationship Coaching Institute, is a
worldwide relationship coaching organization dedicated to helping you
'find the love of your life AND the life that you love'. For more
information about us, please visit our web site at www.consciousdating.org
Tired of being alone? Get a Relationship Coach! Check out our coaches
NEW RELATIONSHIP? Congratulations in moving forward in your life
partner quest! WHAT NOW?
for cutting-edge information and resources for couples. You will be
glad you did! Please share this with new couples that you care about.
Are you a coach or other helping professional who works with singles
and couples? If you want to know more about adding the Conscious Dating
Relationship Coaching tools to your professional toolbox, visit relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
Please share this newsletter with your single friends, family, and
co-workers, and you can be a partner in their success, too!
Links to Us
Kachaturoff | Editor, Conscious
Dating Newsletter for Singles Tara@relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
Visit our website for
singles at www.ConsciousDating.org
Free introductory training! relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
Members of Relationship
Free resources for singles and couples www.RelationshipCoachingNetwork.org
subscribe to this newsletter and join our f`ree Conscious Dating Online
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