Conscious Dating Logo

February 2008

In this issue:

Free to our subscribers!
Conscious Dating
Tele-Seminar Series
Conscious Dating Tele-Clinic

Conscious Relationship
Tele-Seminar Series

Conscious Relationship Podcast

Conscious Relationship Article Bank

David Steele
David Steele
Relationship Coaching Institute

Frankie Doiron
President & CEO
Relationship Coaching Institute

Tara Kachaturoff - Photo
Tara Kachaturoff
Editor | Conscious Dating News

Copyright 2008 by All rights reserved.

Now Available!

Conscious Dating book

Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World

Order a copy today for your single friends and family members at

Conscious Dating Success
Story of the Year Contest

Check out our 2008 Winners here

To access your subscriber bonuses and benefits visit



Click here to enter!Conscious Dating Success Story of the Year Contest

For the two year anniversary of the publication of Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of your Life in Today's World on February 13, 2008 we'll announce the results of our second annual-

Conscious Dating
Success Story of the Year Contest

We're awarding an iPod Nano loaded with our best Conscious Relationship Audio Programs ($400.00 value) to the first and second place winners.

Check out last year's winners here

Submissions will be judged by the staff of Relationship Coaching Institute. To be eligible entrants must certify that they have read the Conscious Dating book. All submissions become property of Relationship Coaching Institute and by entering this contest entrants grant us permission to publish their story online and in print.

- Do you have a success story to share? Go immediately to

- Know anyone with a success story to share? Please forward this announcement to them!

- Know a single who hasn't read Conscious Dating and is a success story in the making? Please send them to

Let the contest begin!

Announcing- Second Edition of Conscious Dating Book!

The second edition of Conscious Dating has just been released. Here are some changes in the new edition-

  • New sub-title- "Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life That You Love"
  • "Conscious Dating" more clearly defined and explained in the Introduction
  • Paperback (second edition is not available in hardback)
  • "Dating Red Flags Checklist" added to Chapter 8
  • Jeanette Ball's inspiring Conscious Dating Success Story of the Year added to the appendix

The impetus for the second edition was our distributor requiring a paperback version for placement in bookstores. As long as we were going to publish a paperback version, it seemed like a good idea to update the book with the new material developed since publication.

The first edition hardback and CD is still available on our website at and

The second edition is now available at and as well as bookstores around the country.

Advanced Conscious Dating Strategies

These programs provide advanced information, strategies, and tips to help you find the love of your life.

Each program includes the MP3 audio recording, complete written transcript, and Study Guide to follow along and take notes.

Program #1- Are You Ready for Love?

Program #2- Being The Chooser

Program #3- Ten Steps for Finding Your Soul Mate

Program #4- Conscious Dating: How to Connect to Your Life Vision

Program #5- Conscious Dating for Boomers: Finding Love After 50

Program #6- Scouting: Where to Find Your Soul Mate

Program #7- Advanced Strategies for Sorting, Screening, and Testing

Program #8- Conscious Internet Dating: Using Your Computer to Find Your Soul Mate

Program #9-Conscious Dating at a Distance: What to Do When You're Attracted to Someone 1200 Miles Away

Check them out at

Conscious Dating Virtual Coaching Program for Singles

When you're dating someone do you ever wonder-
"Is this the right relationship for me?"

Our Conscious Mating Audio Programs provide detailed, comprehensive strategies for dating and mating, addressing all the relationship and decision-making challenges that arise when you're single and seeking your soul mate.

These audio programs are recorded from our live tele-seminars and include the MP3 audio file for playing on your computer, MP3 player (iPod or other), or burning onto a CD, AND a complete PDF transcript for following along and making notes.

Program #1- Is This the Right Relationship for Me? Introduction to the Pre-commitment Stage

Program #2- Am I Ready to Be a Couple?

Program #3- Finding Lasting Love by Experiencing Your Experience

Program #4- Should We Live Together?

Program #5- Dealing With Our Baggage

Program #6- Are We Compatible?

Program #7- Sharing Our Vision

Program #8- Deciding "Is This The One?"

Program #9- When We Must Say Goodbye

Check them out at

Ask Our Coaches:
Single on Valentine's Day? What to Do

... Do you have any suggestions for me and others like me to get through this holiday which is all about love and romance?

This column answers questions submitted by our readers. Submit your questions to who will forward them to our coaches all over the world. Each issue, we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.

Dear Coaches, 

Valentine's Day is only a couple of weeks away. I'm 43, divorced for 4 years and a mother of a teenage daughter. I broke up with a man I was dating for about two years, right before Thanksgiving, and I am not currently dating anyone. I feel very alone. I love this holiday and have many good memories of spending it with my former love. Do you have any suggestions for me and others like me to get through this holiday which is
all about love and romance - especially when we don't have that in our lives?

Pat from Portland

Ron responds ...

I can relate to how you feel as I have spent many a Valentine's Day by myself. The most profound and meaningful relationship that we ever have is the relationship with ourselves. All other relationships take their cue and flow out of that relationship. Being able to receive gestures that come from yourself will more fully enable you to receive them from a loving partner when that presents itself.

I suggest that you put some thought into how you would treat a partner and how you would wish the partner to treat you on Valentine's Day. Then, select a few of those items and treat yourself. I have cooked candlelight dinners for myself on certain romantic occasions as well as given myself flowers. It may seem a bit odd at first, but you will be amazed at how great it feels to do these special things for you. You are sending yourself a message that you are worthy and deserving. Once you get used to it, it can be even more special than coming from a partner.

Ron Maddox | 214.528.5426

Barbara responds …

I'm 66, married twice and divorced twice. Valentine's Day was a lonely holiday for me for many years between significant others or husbands. What works for me is to be in the NOW and gift myself on that special day. I might go to a spa, have a massage, gather a girlfriend or two and plan a delicious dinner or buy myself a gift.

One Valentine's Day about 12 years ago, I bought myself a stuffed animal, a skunk with a 'sweet' personality, that moved it's tail from side to side, held a pillow that read, 'I love you' and sang the song, 'How sweet it is to be loved by you'. I stood facing a mirror at home, holding the skunk in front of me singing and dancing to, "How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By Me."

When all is said and done, who is our most significant life partner? Our very own precious self. Once we develop a love relationship with ourself, we will never be lonely again, even when we're alone! Be creative and give yourself the best and most lasting gift of all, love! Consider yourself “hugged”!

Barbara Epstein |

Frankie responds ...

If you're unhappy about being single, do something about it. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, think about what you want. Being single is a great opportunity! Until you find that special person, and you will, consider these tips:

1. Start Anew. Valentine's Day can be your New Year's resolution day for all elements of a year of new love!

2. If you dream of a happy romantic relationship, realize it takes commitment, effort and planning.

3. Identify any "baggage" that holds you back from the relationship you truly want. What areas in your life do you need to work on to be ready to meet love on love's terms?

4. Assess your relationship readiness skills. What are your deal-breakers? Your values and life vision?

5. Live your life as a successful single - don't put your life on hold while you wait for your partner to show up. Be positive. Have fun!

6. Celebrate! Valentine's Day is a great excuse to celebrate life and love. Shower yourself with love and/or spend time with a friend or relative who loves you unconditionally. Book a day at the spa and pamper yourself.

7. Take some risks and experience things you dare not usually do. Smile and engage in conversation wherever you are. You may be surprised at the response and at how good you feel.

Frankie Doiron |

Hazel responds …

Having been in this position myself, I can really empathize with you. However there are many ways in which you can still enjoy Valentine’s without having a man in your life.
One of the most important ways to celebrate is to be your own Valentine! Don’t spend time reminiscing about past holidays. Create wonderful new and different memories.

If you have single friends, make reservations at a nice restaurant, or if it’s more comfortable, invite your friends to a special dinner at home. Dress up. Use pretty place mats, add candles and flowers. Sharing a nice meal and wine with friends and/or family is a wonderful way to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Have a pajama party. Enjoy snacks, chocolate, games and just have a good time. Kids are not the only ones who do this! Women love this, too. If you’re at home invite your daughter to be part of some of it if you’re comfortable with that.

The most important thing is to do something that you love to do just because it’s for you. Loving yourself on this and every other day will help you to move further toward having what you want in life.

Hazel Palache, MFT,MCCht, CNLP | | 818.972.4415

Lori responds ...

Valentines Day is all about LOVE. Unfortunately, it also puts a lot of pressure on romantic relationships. As a result of this pressure, this is also a day that many couples break up and still many others get into arguments. That is because our expectations are so high! Releasing unrealistic expectations and creating a new definition of what Valentine's Day should look like will go a long way.

You have a teenage daughter and I bet some great girlfriends. I know sometimes teenagers aren't interested in spending time with mom; however, you can probably bribe her with a shopping trip and dinner out! If she has something to do on Valentines Day, make February 15th Valentines day -- dinners are less expensive and restaurants are less crowded.

Additionally, many towns show the play, Vagina Monologues, right around Valentines Day. Gather a group of girlfriends for a great night out. And Patricia, like any holiday, make it about giving, not receiving and surprise one great friend with a bouquet of flowers -- that should be fun!

Lori Rubenstein, JD, CPC |

Feature Article:
Growing by Facing Your Fears

by Lisa Fredette

RCI Coach Lisa Fredette talks about fear and how to reframe it so that it becomes a stepping-stone to creating and living the life you love.

Tara Kachaturoff

One of the first emotions that I experienced when my husband and I separated was fear. I would have thought it would be anger, but that came later. Fear is what showed up first for me -- fear of being alone, fear of the unknown and fear of being a failure.

I was married for sixteen years. My whole life revolved around my husband and my daughter. When my marriage fell apart, I did not have much of a support system in place. After the tears subsided and reality set in, I was what I feared most in my life -- a divorced single mom. A gut wrenching feeling of fear set in.

Fear Defined

What is fear? Rhonda Britten, author of Fearless Living, defines fear as "...both the cause and effect of the feelings, thoughts, or actions that prohibit you from accepting yourself and realizing your full potential. It is the gate keeper of your comfort zone." If you look at fear as an acronym, False Evidence Appearing Real, it is much easier to face. If whatever it is that you are afraid of is really false, then you can set it aside or move through it. Now doesn't that make life seem easier?

Facing One of Your Biggest Fears: Failure

The best way I have found to combat fear is to just face it head on and move through it. Many people are fearful of failure. I say define failure. Because you do not achieve what you set out to do, does it mean you failed or does it mean that you were just not meant to achieve that particular goal? When you are in a situation where you feel you failed, ask yourself what was it was that you gained or learned. You can always learn from it, so in essence it can not be a failure then, can it?

If nothing else, congratulate yourself for taking the risk. Many people are so paralyzed by fear that they are unwilling to take the risk. The fact that you took the risk is worthy of praise and admiration.

If you are afraid to try something because you might fail, think about the worse case scenario and then ask yourself, "If I do this, will I survive?" Unless the worse case scenario is death, you can survive --so just do it. As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." A great story depicting this very thing can be found in Dale Carnegie's book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. You will be amazed how great you feel for taking the risk.

A Challenge for You!

My challenge for you is to look fear in the face, today, and take a risk. You will be glad you did. You will be amazed how great you feel for taking this step. What a self-esteem builder. And if nothing else, it will give you a great story to tell your children, grandchildren or friends. Take me up on my challenge. Walk outside your comfort zone and discover the wonderful world that awaits you.

Copyright © by Lisa Fredette. All rights reserved in all media.

Lisa A. Fredette |

Bonus Article:
Are You Ready for a Successful Relationship?

by Dr. Jackie Black

Dr. Jackie Black explores 5 key life areas we should examine prior to beginning our next relationship. By improving these areas, we’ll be better prepared to enjoy our life with someone else.

Tara Kachaturoff

Your life will not be "better" if you are in a relationship. We take ourselves with us wherever we go... especially into love relationships.

A successful, committed relationship depends upon being ready:

  • Physically
  • Emotionally
  • Financially
  • Legally, and
  • Spiritually

for the life and relationship that you want. Get your personal work done first!

Are you ready Physically?

  • Are you actively engaged in a physical fitness program?
  • Are you committed to eating health-promoting foods?
  • Do you do your best, most of the time, to avoid overeating, or eating too much sugar and fat?
  • Do you take care of your gums and teeth and make sure your breath is sweet?
  • Is your personal hygiene the very best it can be? If not, are you making the necessary changes?

Are you ready Emotionally?

  • Are you over your past relationships? That is, have you resolved any hurt and or anger that is a normal part of breaking up.
  • Are you actively engaged in a personal growth process facilitated by a professional to heal childhood pain that may interfere with an intimate adult relationship?
  • If you have trouble with anger, holding grudges, shutting down emotionally or “leaving the scene,” are you taking the time to learn and practice more resourceful behaviors?

Are you ready Financially?

  • Are you actively, and with intention, resolving any credit card debit you may have accumulated?
  • If you are paying child support and/or spousal support have you integrated these expenses into your budget?
  • Have you clarified your financial goals for the next 12 months? Five years? Ten years? Over 10 years? For retirement?

Are you ready Legally?

  • Are you actively, and with intention, resolving any legal situations that may exist?
  • If you are divorced, is your custody, spousal support and child support resolved? Are you being honest and honorable in all your personal and business dealings to insure, to the best of your ability, that you will not become involved in any unpleasant legal matters again?

Are you ready Spiritually?

  • Are you a religious person? A spiritual person? Agnostic or atheist?
  • Is becoming involved with a person of the same faith important to you? To your family?
  • Is raising your children (existing or future) in a particular faith important to you? To your family?
  • Have you actively, and with intention, thought about theses issues? Have you come to any conclusions? Do you have any preferences?

Be sure you…

  • Clarify your personal vision, requirements, needs and wants.
  • Spend all the time it takes to answer the questions: Who am I? What do I want? How do I get what I want?
  • Focus on developing and practicing dating and inter-personal relationship skills.

Be as ready as you can be to meet your ideal mate and create the life and the love life that affirms and esteems your best self! Only YOU can make it happen!

Copyright © Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2008. All rights reserved in all media.

Dr. Jackie BlackDr. Jackie Black |

Conscious Dating Resources

F`ree monthy Conscious Dating Tele-seminars

F`ree monthy Conscious Dating Tele-Clinic

New! Conscious Dating Audio Programs

Visit our website at for FREE cutting-edge information and tools for finding the love of your life, including:

" Register for our 5-Day e-Program for Singles, "How To Find Your Life Partner"

" Take our proprietary Relationship Readiness Quiz

" Listen to outstanding audio programs such as "Find the Love of Your Life AND The Life That You Love" and "Conscious Dating for Relationship Success"

" Access our Knowledge Bank for innovative relationship tools, strategies and concepts

" Check out our talented RCI-trained Relationship Coaches at

For More Information, a resource for singles offered by Relationship Coaching Institute, is a worldwide relationship coaching organization dedicated to helping you 'find the love of your life AND the life that you love'. For more information about us, please visit our web site at

Tired of being alone? Get a Relationship Coach! Check out our coaches at:

NEW RELATIONSHIP? Congratulations in moving forward in your life partner quest! WHAT NOW?

Visit for cutting-edge information and resources for couples. You will be glad you did! Please share this with new couples that you care about.

Are you a coach or other helping professional who works with singles and couples? If you want to know more about adding the Conscious Dating Relationship Coaching tools to your professional toolbox, visit

Please share this newsletter with your single friends, family, and co-workers, and you can be a partner in their success, too!

Links to Us


Tara Alexandra Kachaturoff | Editor, Conscious Dating Newsletter for Singles

Visit our website for singles at

Relationship Coaching Institute
Free introductory training!

Members of Relationship Coaching Network
Free resources for singles and couples

To subscribe to this newsletter and join our f`ree Conscious Dating Online Community click here

Please refer singles your care about to
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Copyright 2008 by All rights reserved. Feel free to share this with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included.