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October 2007

In this issue:

Free to our subscribers!

Conscious Dating
Tele-Seminar Series
Conscious Dating Tele-Clinic

Conscious Relationship
Tele-Seminar Series

Conscious Relationship Podcast

Conscious Relationship Article Bank

David Steele
David Steele
Relationship Coaching Institute

Frankie Doiron
President & CEO
Relationship Coaching Institute

Tara Kachaturoff - Photo
Tara Kachaturoff
Editor | Conscious Dating News

Copyright 2008 by All rights reserved.

Now Available!

Conscious Dating book

Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World

Order a copy today for your single friends and family members at

Conscious Dating Success
Story of the Year Contest

Check out our 2007 Winners here

To access your subscriber bonuses and benefits visit



Conscious Dating Virtual Coaching Program for Singles

First Thursday of each month, f`ree to our subscribers. If you've received this from a friend and wish to join us register here. It's f`ree!

Thursday, October 4, 6:30pm pacific/9:30pm eastern

Conscious Dating: Practical Tips for the First Three Dates

With Frankie Doiron and David Steele

The first 3 dates can often be the most challenging for singles because the decision you make whether to continue dating a new person is often based on initial impressions or unsubstantiated feelings.

How do you know if you have given your date a fair chance to demonstrate their “mate” potential? Or, are you so infatuated that you avoid seeing the obvious red flags that make this date a poor partnership choice?

This Tele-Seminar will reveal how to navigate the challenges of the first three dates to find the partner you really want.

In this program you will learn:

• The purpose of first dates and why you need to have as many of them as possible

• The best structure for the first three dates, including length of date and the best dating venues

• Sorting and screening skills to use on your first three dates

• Safe dating practices for men and women

• The Top 5 signs that your date is not a match

• The Top 7 signs that your date is a “keeper”

• And more!

Join Frankie and David as we reveal the secrets and strategies for successful Conscious Dating.

Mark your calendar right now. You WILL want to attend this outstanding program!

Can't make it? No problem! Each program in recorded and you can get the MP3 audio file for playing on your computer, MP3 player (iPod or other), or burning onto a CD, a complete written transcript for following along and making notes and immediate access to the recorded program via telephone replay line and link to presenter's notes and other supplementary information here.

Ask Our Coaches:
How Do You Get Started?

... I don’t know where to go from here. Where exactly should I start?

This column answers questions submitted by our readers. Submit your questions to who will forward them to our coaches all over the world. Each issue, we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.

Dear Coaches, 

I’m a 39-year-old never married female who is interested in finding my life partner. I just received the Conscious Dating newsletter and I have to say I’m a bit overwhelmed. I feel I need “coaching” or something to help me have a fulfilling relationship. There are so many different things to choose from and they seem helpful and interesting. I don’t know where to go from here. Would you please give me some insight and suggestions on where exactly I should start?

Jeanne from Maryland

Anna responds …

It appears that you are now open to allowing for the possibility of having a life partner. Congratulations! Remember the Buddhist saying: When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When you are ready to allow love in your life, love will appear.

Now for the hard questions: What blocks have been in place most of your adult life? What has now changed about your priorities? What feelings do you want to experience with your life partner? Is there anything missing in your life that you feel a life partner would provide? And is that missing thing something that only you can provide?

Finally, do you know what you want in a life partner? When you have clarity around what you want, you will begin to “see” men with those qualities. And when they sense that you are interested in them, they will notice you. Be the chooser, but be clear about what it is you want to choose!

Anna Manning, MBA, MS | | 830.964.4037

Don responds …

Begin by looking within to evaluate yourself and what your values are. Then based on that value system, look within, again, for what your goal is in a relationship. Without knowing your goal and having measures to know when you have achieved it, you are simply moving forward directed by the shifting winds of the sea of life. We must chart our course in order to reach a safe harbor especially if there are storms in our life to contend with. A coach will be valuable in helping you to navigate this process.

Don Bailey | | 941.266.1944

Sandra responds …

The whole topic can, indeed, seem overwhelming at first. I’m delighted that you seem open to coaching, and I urge you to consider hiring a coach to help you sort out your priorities. So often, people date and seek a partner unconsciously, and then fall into the same unsatisfying or painful relationship traps over and over again.

A great relationship coach will lead you, step-by-step, into a conscious awareness of what you require in a relationship. With your coach, you will examine who you are at a deep level so that you can seek the right partner to match you. Then, as you begin to date, your coach will hold your hand throughout the process. Imagine having a knowledgeable guide, who is totally on your side, to turn to when you hit the scary parts!

You might start by getting a copy of David Steele’s book Conscious Dating, which will both help you begin to make sense of the steps to finding a great partner and give you an idea of what it’s like to work with a coach.

Sandra Rohr, M.A. || 714.774.8540

Feature Article:

by Lisa Fredette, CTA

RCI Coach Lisa Fredette offers helpful, heartful advice that by exploring and embracing our singlehood that we can create the foundation for a more meaningful relationship in the future.

Tara Kachaturoff

Is it human nature to seek out companionship? When I say "companionship" I mean in the romantic sense. Are we designed to go through life alone or are we genetically engineered to be coupled? The reason that I ask these questions is because it seems that the world, at least from the recently singled perspective, is made up of couples. So how do singles fit comfortably in a world that is predominately coupled?

If one is not comfortable with who they are, it can be difficult to stand alone. I think this is truer for women than for men. It seems that men are more comfortable going through life as an individual whereas women gravitate more toward companionship.

Case in point -- ever see a women go to the bathroom alone? We can’t even do that by ourselves let alone something as big as going to a movie or out to dinner alone. What would the world think about a female out on the town alone? Loser!!!! Or at least that is what goes on in the minds of many single women. Is this really true or is it merely a self imposed prison? I say ladies, let’s take a page out of the men’s handbook and start getting a little more comfortable in our own skin and take the world by storm!

This of course is easier said then done, particularly if you are recently single as a result of a divorce or a break up from a long term relationship. Many of us are so afraid of being alone we immediately seek out the “perceived” security of another relationship, without stopping to catch our breath and often end up right back where we were before -- heartbroken and alone. So, again, I ask the question -- what is a newly single person to do in a coupled world? Celebrate!!!

Take this opportunity to get reacquainted with your hopes, dreams and desires. It is too easy to lose oneself in a relationship. Now that you are no longer in a relationship you can step back and find out what really makes you tick. In doing so, you will be able to find out what you really need in a partner to make you happy. So if you find yourself singled again, don’t jump right back into a relationship; instead take the time to hang out with you.

So how does one get reacquainted with themselves? The first step is to clear your calendar so that you have time to spend with you. I know for me, when I was hiding, I filled up my calendar so full that I never had time to be by myself. Being alone with nothing to do terrified me. Now I rejoice in some free time to hang out with my best friend, me.

Getting to this point was not immediate; it took a lot of self evaluation. The first thing I did was purchase a journal. Then I purchased Dr. Phil McGraw’s book, Self Matters: Creating your Life from the Inside Out, and started to read it. I worked through almost all of the exercises. It was an enlightening journey. After that I started to map out my future by writing down all the things I would like to do or experience. These two steps really helped me identify what made me tick and what got me excited.

From there, I was able to really drill down to the key characteristics I needed and wanted in a partner. I broke out my journal and made a list of my requirements for the perfect man. So rather than jumping right into a relationship after I became single, I took the time to get reacquainted with me which allowed me to determine what type of relationship/companionship was right for me. And then I let the universe do the rest.

I challenge you to embrace your singlehood. Take the time to get reacquainted with yourself and then identify what you require in a partner, before you jump head first into another bad relationship. Take control of your future, don’t let it take control of you and before you know it, you will be going to the movie or out to dinner alone and loving it. Rather than “needing” a partner in your life you will be “enjoying” a partner in your life.

Copyright © 2007 by Lisa Fredette. All rights reserved in all media.

Lisa A. Fredette | CTA Certified Life Coach
Passionate About Life Coaching

Bonus Article:
Ten Things You Can Do Right
Now To Find Your Perfect Mate

by David Steele, Founder and CEO
Relationship Coaching Institute

Sometimes we don’t realize all the things we can do right now to find the love of our life. In this month’s bonus article, David Steele shares 10 valuable tips for moving forward. Think about each one carefully and how you can implement them in your life. If you do, I think you’ll be pleased with the results.

Tara Kachaturoff

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate, you must be available and not involved with people who aren't right for you.

2. OK, available now? Next... are you "ready?"

Do you have any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Get it handled now!

3. Next, make a list your top five requirements

Your requirements are the “must haves” in your relationship, otherwise you would not enter into the relationship or you would leave if you were in it. Make a list of your non-negotiable deal-breakers and vow not to get involved with anyone who doesn't meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and to lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let's get crystal clear about this "dating" thing

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

• Scouting: This is the process of finding compatible people to meet, whether through internet dating sites, through friends, through getting out there, etc.

• Sorting: This is about quickly determining if someone you meet has potential. You’ll need to have your top five requirements handy.

• Screening: This step is concerned with collecting enough information about the other person to determine if your requirements would be met.

• Testing: This step involves dating a few times so that you can compare the reality with the information you gathered.

That's it... nothing more, nothing less. No "trial" relationships, no fun flings -- just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don't do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you're looking for someone and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success, just as misery loves company. It’s your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don't simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you'll get less. Ask for what you want and say "no" to what you don't want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you're single

"If you build it, they will come" (from the movie "Field of Dreams").

Copyright ©2007 by David Steele. All rights reserved.

David Steele, MA, LMFT is founder of Relationship Coaching Institute and author of the ground-breaking new book for singles Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World.

Conscious Dating Resources

F`ree monthy Conscious Dating Tele-seminars

F`ree monthy Conscious Dating Tele-Clinic

New! Conscious Dating Audio Programs

Visit our website at for FREE cutting-edge information and tools for finding the love of your life, including:

" Register for our 5-Day e-Program for Singles, "How To Find Your Life Partner"

" Take our proprietary Relationship Readiness Quiz

" Listen to outstanding audio programs such as "Find the Love of Your Life AND The Life That You Love" and "Conscious Dating for Relationship Success"

" Access our Knowledge Bank for innovative relationship tools, strategies and concepts

" Check out our talented RCI-trained Relationship Coaches at

For More Information, a resource for singles offered by Relationship Coaching Institute, is a worldwide relationship coaching organization dedicated to helping you 'find the love of your life AND the life that you love'. For more information about us, please visit our web site at

Tired of being alone? Get a Relationship Coach! Check out our coaches at:

NEW RELATIONSHIP? Congratulations in moving forward in your life partner quest! WHAT NOW?

Visit for cutting-edge information and resources for couples. You will be glad you did! Please share this with new couples that you care about.

Are you a coach or other helping professional who works with singles and couples? If you want to know more about adding the Conscious Dating Relationship Coaching tools to your professional toolbox, visit

Please share this newsletter with your single friends, family, and co-workers, and you can be a partner in their success, too!

Links to Us


Tara Alexandra Kachaturoff | Editor, Conscious Dating Newsletter for Singles

Visit our website for singles at

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Copyright 2007 by All rights reserved. Feel free to share this with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included.