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Thursday, October 4,
Conscious Dating: Practical Tips for the
First Three Dates
With Frankie Doiron
and David Steele
The first 3 dates can
often be the most challenging for singles because the decision you make
whether to continue dating a new person is often based on initial
impressions or unsubstantiated feelings.
How do you know if you have given your date a fair chance to
demonstrate their “mate” potential? Or, are you so
infatuated that you avoid seeing the obvious red flags that make this
date a poor partnership choice?
This Tele-Seminar will reveal how to navigate the challenges of the
first three dates to find the partner you really want.
this program you will learn:
• The purpose of first dates and why you need to have as many
of them as possible
• The best structure for the first three dates, including
length of date and the best dating venues
• Sorting and screening skills to use on your first three dates
• Safe dating practices for men and women
• The Top 5 signs that your date is not a match
• The Top 7 signs that your date is a
• And more!
Frankie and David as we reveal the secrets and strategies for
successful Conscious Dating.
your calendar right now. You WILL want to attend this outstanding
make it? No problem! Each
program in recorded and you can get the MP3
audio file for playing on your
computer, MP3 player (iPod or other), or burning onto a CD, a complete
written transcript for following
along and making notes and immediate access to the recorded program via
telephone replay line and link to presenter's notes and other
supplementary information here.
Ask Our Coaches:
How Do You Get Started?
... I don’t know where to go from here. Where
This column answers
questions submitted by our readers. Submit your questions to
who will forward them to our coaches all over the world. Each issue,
we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.
39-year-old never married female who is interested in finding my life
partner. I just received the Conscious Dating newsletter and I have to
say I’m a bit overwhelmed. I feel I need
“coaching” or something to help me have a
fulfilling relationship. There are so many different things to choose
from and they seem helpful and interesting. I don’t know
where to go from here. Would you please give me some insight and
suggestions on where exactly I should start?
It appears that you are now open to allowing for the possibility of
having a life partner. Congratulations! Remember the Buddhist saying:
When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When you are ready to
allow love in your life, love will appear.
Now for the hard
questions: What blocks have been in place most of your adult life? What
has now changed about your priorities? What feelings do you want to
experience with your life partner? Is there anything missing in your
life that you feel a life partner would provide? And is that missing
thing something that only you can provide?
Finally, do you know what
you want in a life partner? When you have clarity around what you want,
you will begin to “see” men with those qualities.
And when they sense that you are interested in them, they will notice
you. Be the chooser, but be clear about what it is you want to choose!
Anna Manning, MBA,
MS | firstname.lastname@example.org
Begin by looking within
to evaluate yourself and what your values are. Then based on that value
system, look within, again, for what your goal is in a relationship.
Without knowing your goal and having measures to know when you have
achieved it, you are simply moving forward directed by the shifting
winds of the sea of life. We must chart our course in order to reach a
safe harbor especially if there are storms in our life to contend with.
A coach will be valuable in helping you to navigate this process.
Bailey | email@example.com
The whole topic can,
indeed, seem overwhelming at first. I’m delighted that you
seem open to coaching, and I urge you to consider hiring a coach to
help you sort out your priorities. So often, people date and seek a
partner unconsciously, and then fall into the same unsatisfying or
painful relationship traps over and over again.
A great relationship
coach will lead you, step-by-step, into a conscious awareness of what
you require in a relationship. With your coach, you will examine who
you are at a deep level so that you can seek the right partner to match
you. Then, as you begin to date, your coach will hold your hand
throughout the process. Imagine having a knowledgeable guide, who is
totally on your side, to turn to when you hit the scary parts!
You might start by
getting a copy of David Steele’s book Conscious
Dating, which will both help you
begin to make sense of the steps to finding a great partner and give
you an idea of what it’s like to work with a coach.
Rohr, M.A. | www.yourpersonallovecoach.com
by Lisa Fredette, CTA
Coach Lisa Fredette offers helpful, heartful advice that by exploring
and embracing our singlehood that we can create the foundation for a
more meaningful relationship in the future.
Is it human nature to seek out companionship? When I say
"companionship" I mean in the romantic sense. Are we designed to go
through life alone or are we genetically engineered to be coupled? The
reason that I ask these questions is because it seems that the world,
at least from the recently singled perspective, is made up of couples.
So how do singles fit comfortably in a world that is predominately
If one is not comfortable
with who they are, it can be difficult to stand alone. I think this is
truer for women than for men. It seems that men are more comfortable
going through life as an individual whereas women gravitate more toward
Case in point -- ever see
a women go to the bathroom alone? We can’t even do that by
ourselves let alone something as big as going to a movie or out to
dinner alone. What would the world think about a female out on the town
alone? Loser!!!! Or at least that is what goes on in the minds of many
single women. Is this really true or is it merely a self imposed
prison? I say ladies, let’s take a page out of the
men’s handbook and start getting a little more comfortable in
our own skin and take the world by storm!
This of course is easier
said then done, particularly if you are recently single as a result of
a divorce or a break up from a long term relationship. Many of us are
so afraid of being alone we immediately seek out the
“perceived” security of another relationship,
without stopping to catch our breath and often end up right back where
we were before -- heartbroken and alone. So, again, I ask the question
-- what is a newly single person to do in a coupled world? Celebrate!!!
Take this opportunity to
get reacquainted with your hopes, dreams and desires. It is too easy to
lose oneself in a relationship. Now that you are no longer in a
relationship you can step back and find out what really makes you tick.
In doing so, you will be able to find out what you really need in a
partner to make you happy. So if you find yourself singled again,
don’t jump right back into a relationship; instead take the
time to hang out with you.
So how does one get
reacquainted with themselves? The first step is to clear your calendar
so that you have time to spend with you. I know for me, when I was
hiding, I filled up my calendar so full that I never had time to be by
myself. Being alone with nothing to do terrified me. Now I rejoice in
some free time to hang out with my best friend, me.
Getting to this point was
not immediate; it took a lot of self evaluation. The first thing I did
was purchase a journal. Then I purchased Dr. Phil McGraw’s
Matters: Creating your Life from the Inside Out, and
started to read it. I worked through almost all of the exercises. It
was an enlightening journey. After that I started to map out my future
by writing down all the things I would like to do or experience. These
two steps really helped me identify what made me tick and what got me
From there, I was able to
really drill down to the key characteristics I needed and wanted in a
partner. I broke out my journal and made a list of my requirements for
the perfect man. So rather than jumping right into a relationship after
I became single, I took the time to get reacquainted with me which
allowed me to determine what type of relationship/companionship was
right for me. And then I let the universe do the rest.
I challenge you to
embrace your singlehood. Take the time to get reacquainted with
yourself and then identify what you require in a partner, before you
jump head first into another bad relationship. Take control of your
future, don’t let it take control of you and before you know
it, you will be going to the movie or out to dinner alone and loving
it. Rather than “needing” a partner in your life
you will be “enjoying” a partner in your life.
Copyright © 2007
by Lisa Fredette. All rights reserved in all media.
A. Fredette | CTA Certified Life Coach
Passionate About Life Coaching
Ten Things You Can Do Right
Now To Find Your Perfect Mate
by David Steele, Founder
Relationship Coaching Institute
we don’t realize all the things we can do right now to find
the love of our life. In this month’s bonus article, David
Steele shares 10 valuable tips for moving forward. Think about each one
carefully and how you can implement them in your life. If you do, I
think you’ll be pleased with the results.
Start by losing the losers
If you want to find
your soul mate, you must be available and not involved with people who
aren't right for you.
OK, available now? Next... are you "ready?"
Do you have any
unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Get it
Next, make a list your top five requirements
Your requirements are
the “must haves” in your relationship, otherwise
you would not enter into the relationship or you would leave if you
were in it. Make a list of your non-negotiable deal-breakers and vow
not to get involved with anyone who doesn't meet all five. Share your
list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the
truth and to lock you up if you get off-track.
4. Good job. Now, let's get crystal
about this "dating" thing
If you want to avoid the
deadly dating traps, focus on these Four
Steps for Conscious Dating:
Scouting: This is the
process of finding compatible people to meet, whether through internet
dating sites, through friends, through getting out there, etc.
Sorting: This is about
quickly determining if someone you meet has potential. You’ll
need to have your top five requirements handy.
Screening: This step is
concerned with collecting enough information about the other person to
determine if your requirements would be met.
Testing: This step involves
dating a few times so that you can compare the reality with the
information you gathered.
That's it... nothing
more, nothing less. No "trial" relationships, no fun flings -- just
these four steps.
5. Get support
Don't do this alone.
Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be
your safety net to help you stay on track.
6. Work it!
Most people meet their
soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you're
looking for someone and network like crazy.
7. Be positive and happy
Success breeds success,
just as misery loves company. It’s your choice.
8. Be the Chooser!
Go after what you want
and don't simply react to what or who chooses you.
9. Be assertive!
If you settle for less,
you'll get less. Ask for what you want and say "no" to what you don't
10. Live a great life NOW while you're
"If you build it, they
will come" (from the movie "Field of Dreams").
by David Steele. All rights reserved.
Steele, MA, LMFT is founder of Relationship Coaching Institute and
author of the ground-breaking new book for singles Conscious Dating:
Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World. www.consciousdating.com
F`ree monthy Conscious
Conscious Dating Audio Programs
our website at www.ConsciousDating.org
for FREE cutting-edge information and tools for finding the love of
your life, including:
" Register for our 5-Day e-Program for Singles, "How To Find Your Life
" Take our proprietary Relationship Readiness Quiz
" Listen to outstanding audio programs such as "Find the Love of Your
Life AND The Life That You Love" and "Conscious Dating for Relationship
" Access our Knowledge Bank for innovative relationship tools,
strategies and concepts
" Check out our talented RCI-trained Relationship Coaches at www.ConsciousDating.org/coach
a resource for singles offered by Relationship Coaching Institute, is a
worldwide relationship coaching organization dedicated to helping you
'find the love of your life AND the life that you love'. For more
information about us, please visit our web site at www.consciousdating.org
Tired of being alone? Get a Relationship Coach! Check out our coaches
NEW RELATIONSHIP? Congratulations in moving forward in your life
partner quest! WHAT NOW?
for cutting-edge information and resources for couples. You will be
glad you did! Please share this with new couples that you care about.
Are you a coach or other helping professional who works with singles
and couples? If you want to know more about adding the Conscious Dating
Relationship Coaching tools to your professional toolbox, visit relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
Please share this newsletter with your single friends, family, and
co-workers, and you can be a partner in their success, too!
Links to Us
Kachaturoff | Editor, Conscious
Dating Newsletter for Singles firstname.lastname@example.org
Visit our website for
singles at www.ConsciousDating.org
Free introductory training! relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
Members of Relationship
Free resources for singles and couples www.RelationshipCoachingNetwork.org
subscribe to this newsletter and join our f`ree Conscious Dating Online
refer singles your care about to www.ConsciousDating.org
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Copyright 2007 by
ConsciousDating.org. All rights reserved. Feel free to share this with
others as long as our contact information and authorship is included.