Celebrating our 10 Year Anniversary! 1997 - 2007

Relationship Coaching Institute News- check out our great F`REE programs this month!
Relationship Coaching News
July 2007

In this issue:

David Steele
Editor- David Steele
Founder and CEO
Relationship Coaching Institute

Copyright 2007 by Relationship Coaching Institute. All rights reserved. Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#1530-3055.

Conscious Dating book

Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World

Available at: www.ConsciousDating.com

Free to our subscribers!

Conscious Relationship
Tele-Seminar Series


Conscious Dating
Tele-Seminar Series


Conscious Mating
Tele-Seminar Series


Conscious Relationship Podcast

Conscious Relationship Article Bank

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1 RCI's 10 Year Anniversary! 2007
2 New and improved Communication Map launches Now available!
3 Free Training:  Introduction to Relationship Coaching Tuesdays, August 7, 14, 21
4 Free Conscious Mating Tele-seminar July 25
5 Free Conscious Relationship Tele-seminar July 12

RCI's 10 Year Anniversary!

RCI's 10 Year Anniversary!

Help us celebrate by wishing us Happy Anniversary and let us know how RCI has made a difference for you here

New and improved Communication Map now available!

Simple and easy to understand

Learn and implement in less than an hour

Universal- works for all relationships and settings- work, home, business, family, parenting, couples, etc

Tested and proven by hundreds of graduates of Relationship Coaching Institute

Designed to quickly and effectively address interpersonal issues and problems to prevent and resolve conflict, The Communication Map can be learned by anyone in less than an hour.

The Communication Map is 8 1/2 x 11 inches, full-color, laminated for durability, and comes with a 44-minute audio CD tutorial.

View a sample here

       - Easily and intuitively understood

       - Jargon-free

       - Immediate results

       - Learn in one hour or less

       - Implement without professional help

Practical, effective, and affordable conflict resolution tool for personal and professional relationships

Discounts for multiple copies / Free shipping!

For more information about The Communication Map visit www.thecommunicationmap.com


Introduction to Relationship Coaching

Starts August 7th

Learn how to coach singles, couples, and develop a successful Relationship Coaching practice, taught by RCI founder David Steele and his teaching staff.

Introduction to Relationship Coaching includes 3 one-hour tele-classes, Tuesdays, August 7, 14, and 21; 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern.

Class #1 How to Coach Singles August 7
Class #2 How to Coach Couples August 14
Class #3 How to Build a Successful Relationship Coaching Practice August 21

Each class includes practical information and materials you can use immediately in your practice.

To register (it's free!) sign up here

Can't make our training dates/times? Each class is recorded for those unable to attend, and we also offer an ON-LINE VERSION

Please share with your colleagues!


Free Conscious Mating Tele-Seminar Series:

Wednesday, July 25, 5:30pm pacific/8:30pm eastern

Linda Marshall - PhotoConscious Mating:
Sharing Our Vision

With David Steele and Linda Marshall

John Gottman's research reveals that 69% of conflict in relationships is due to unrealized expectations that come out in the relationship. In Conscious Mating we refer to what you want for your life and relationship your "Vision."

In this program you will learn:

- What is "Vision" and why is it important to relationship success?

- How to gain clarity about your individual vision

- How to develop a shared vision for your life together

- The role of vision in determining long-term compatibility in dating and pre-committed relationships

- How to use a "Conscious Mating Plan" to make your dreams come true in your life and relationship together

- And more!

No need to register! To access this seminar use this link-

As a subscriber you will receive reminders a few days prior and the day of the seminar.

Can't attend? No problem. The recordings of all our programs are available free at www.consciousrelationshippodcast.com


Free Conscious Relationship Tele-Seminar Series:

On the second Thursday of each month we conduct a free tele-seminar on relatioships featuring top experts!.

Thursday, July 12, 5:30pm pacific/8:30pm eastern

Its a BreakUp, Not a BreakDown

With Lisa Steadman

Like the song says, breaking up is hard to do. But did you know it can also be freeing and fabulous?

When the wrong relationship ends, it's the perfect opportunity for growth and change according to author Lisa Steadman. In her new book It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown, Steadman offers tips, techniques, and advice for not only surviving a breakup but thriving as you move on.

In this program you will learn-

  • How to deal with the initial pain and loss that follows a breakup
  • How to create new boundaries with your ex if you have to remain in contact
  • How to kickstart positive growth and change following the breakup
  • How to protect your heart and date smarter once you've moved on
  • Tips for becoming a savvy single and learning to love your life

No need to register! To access this seminar use this link-

As a subscriber you will receive reminders a few days prior and the day of the seminar.

Can't attend? No problem. The recordings of all our programs are available free at www.consciousrelationshippodcast.com

Feature Article:
Money and Personality in Relationships

by Linda Marshall, M. Div.

Last month we were privileged to host Dr. Helen Fisher for a tele-seminar on The Chemistry of Love featuring her brand new "Love Types" personality system. This article addresses money in relationships by combining Helen Fisher's Love Types and Laura Rowley's Money Personalities.

The Builder-Planner

What makes a Builder a desirable partner is their calm demeanor and low anxiety. They have a deep attachment to home and family. They are usually consistent, loyal, and protective of those they love. They have managerial skill and are sympathetic and cooperative. They work hard and have a lot of common sense. Their patience gives them the ability to complete detailed, painstaking jobs more easily than most people.

The challenge in relating to a builder is their propensity to be “right” and to know the “right way” to do things. A Builder’s money personality tends to be that of a Planner.

Builder-Planners tend to be careful spenders and conservative investors. They like the comfort of a steady paycheck, they live within their means, and they save on a regular basis. They equate money with security or safety. They are goal-setters, list-makers, spreadsheet-builders, and coupon-clippers. On the downside, they can be workaholics, cheapskates, and big on self-denial (for instance, they'll walk 20 blocks to save a $2 bus fare).

The best tool for a Builder-Planner is a budget to help them spend money more fearlessly, because they're usually excellent savers. Thus when a Builder-Planner's partner suggests they try the new Italian restaurant and see a first-run movie, a Builder-Planner can resist the temptation to suggest a free video from the library and microwave popcorn instead -- because the money for the splurge is built into their budget.

One great resource for creating a simple budget is to use Microsoft Excel. Mvelopes and Snowmind Creative Solutions are two other resources which are online budgeting systems. They are based on the old-fashioned envelope system where your cash for the month is divided into envelopes for each spending category, and when the money’s gone, you stop spending for that category.

People with this money style think about money a lot, tend to compare themselves to others, and say things like "I can't afford it" too often. Yahoo Finance columnist Laura Rowley has some basic money and happiness techniques that can help overcome the drawbacks to this style here.

The Explorer-Adventurer

What makes an Explorer a desirable partner is their high energy, high creativity, and spontaneity. They tend to be artistic and seek novelty, risk, and pleasure. They are intellectually curious and not easily swayed by the opinions of others. The challenges in relating to an Explorer are their propensity toward addiction and their tendency to philander. An Explorer’s money personality tends to be that of an Adventurer.

Explorer-Adventurers equate money with freedom, options, and living in the moment. Their spending is focused on creating memories -- they're big on vacations, outings with friends, and sports gear. On the downside, adventurers can be pathologically optimistic and overshoot their incomes. Saving and budgets are a tiresome distraction from their globetrotting exploits. That can get them into trouble with debt.

The best tool for an Explorer-Adventurer is automated investing. Opening an online savings account and having $100 a month transferred from their checking account can help build a cash cushion for Adventurers. With some research, one can find banks offering savings accounts with great interest rates, no minimum balances, and no fees.

Explorer-Adventurers should also max out their 401(k) plans, or set aside enough salary to get an employer match if it's offered. Unlike Planners, who pour over the prospectus of every fund offered by their 401(k), Adventurers are ideal candidates for a life-cycle or target-strategy fund. These one-stop-shopping vehicles invest in a mix of stocks and bonds that grows more conservative as the investor approaches retirement.

And since they love a challenge, Explorer-Adventurers should make a game out of getting a better deal on their purchases. Check out Laura Rowley’s suggestions here.

The Negotiator-Dreamer

What makes a Negotiator a desirable partner is their idealistic, big-picture thinking. They are relational, egalitarian, non-hierarchical, intuitive, flexible, and excel at long-term planning and consensus building. They usually have high verbal and social skills, tending to be networkers who are imaginative, capable of deep empathy and nurturing. The challenge in relating to a Negotiator is their absolute need to establish a deep connection with you. Negotiator’s money personalities tend to be that of Dreamers.

Negotiator-Dreamers are intuitive mystics -- they don't just see the big picture, they're one with it. To them, money is simply an amorphous thing that ebbs and flows, not something that can be captured or stored up. They often work in helping or creative professions, or they drift from job to job in search of meaning. They give generously to charities and friends. On the downside, they have a hard time asking for what they deserve, so they're underpaid.

Since Negotiator-Dreamers tend to be guided by their emotions, they should write down how they would like to feel about their money (more in control, peaceful, responsible, and so on), then, for each feeling, create a concrete step to achieve it, such as, "I want to feel more in control, so today I'll find all of my credit card statements and write down the amount I owe, and the interest rate on the card. I'll put an extra $25 a month toward the card with the highest interest rate."

The best financial tools for Negotiator-Dreamers are people who can guide them through the money maze. The right career coach, for instance, can assist a Negotiator-Dreamer to identify what they value most, to forge a satisfying career path, and to negotiate a fair wage. A fee-only financial planner can help them prioritize their dreams, put their money where their values are, and lay the groundwork to achieve them.

Laura Rowley has three ways to align your money with your values here.

Helen E. Fisher, PhD, is Research Professor and member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University. She has conducted extensive research on the evolution and future of human sex, love and marriage and gender differences in the brain and behavior and is the author of numerous books on the subject. She is currently Chief Scientific Advisor to Chemistry.com where she has collaborated in the development of their Chemistry Profile™ personality assessment and matching system.

Laura Rowley writes a bi-weekly column on money and happiness for Yahoo!Finance, and is the author of Money & Happiness: A Guide to Living the Good Life, a personal finance book that shows readers how to align their money and their values.

Linda A. Marshall, M.Div.
RCI Director of Couple’s Programs & Training

© 2007 Relationship Coaching Institute– All rights reserved.

Seven Laws of Aligning Money,
Values and Happiness

1. Know thyself: understand what values you want to express in your earning, spending, saving and investing.

2. Be grateful. A grateful heart is never envious.

3. Be giving, of your talent, time, and money.

4. Be diligent and responsible: Don't expect managing your money to be easy; keep learning, and be accountable for your own financial life.

5. Be flexible. In the fires of failure are the seeds of new opportunity. Anything is possible, even a better route than the one you had in mind.

6. Be trusting in your good common sense, in the people you love, in your hard work.

7. Keep it light: It's only money.

Source- Laura Rowley



Invitation #1
Please share this newsletter with a colleague.  There is a tremendous need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship Coaching is in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market niche and position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants a successful relationship.

Invitation #2
I invite you to listen to the following introductory recordings 24 hours a day at your convenience by visiting http://relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/audio/index.htm

  • Commitment: The Secret Ingredient to Relationship Happiness
  • Introduction to Relationship Coaching
  • Conscious Dating for Relationship Success
  • Conscious Mating: Is This the Right Relationship for Me?
  • And more!

Invitation #3
I invite you to join our free Introduction to Relationship Coaching tele-training.

Invitation #4
To subscribe to this newsletter, our newsletter for SINGLES, our newsletter for COUPLES, or our GETTTING CLIENTS newsletter, visit

Invitation #5
To learn more about Relationship Coaching this article is a great place to start-
Relationship Coaching: New Hope for Singles and Couples

Invitation #6
To learn more about Relationship Coaching Institute check out-
RCI: More Than Relationship Coaching Training

How do you like our newsletter? Your feedback is welcome!  Until next time....

Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of Relationship Coaching Institute


Telephone:  888.268.4074


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The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform, and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find fulfillment in their lives and relationships.

This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!

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U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#:1530-3055

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