This newsletter is
designed especially for YOU
if you are single and ready to
"Find the Love of Your Life
AND the Life That You Love!"
New! Free Conscious Dating
Tele-Seminar Series for Singles
February 1, 6:30pm pacific/9:30pm eastern
Dating for Boomers: Finding Love After 50
With Frankie Doiron and David Steele
have been asking
singles to tell us their biggest
challenges with Conscious Dating and the overwhelming number of
responses mention how difficult it is to find love after 50, especially
join Frankie and myself as we tackle the biggest, most vexing problem
facing singles today- how to find love after 50.
brand new Conscious
Dating Tele-Seminar Series for
Singles meets the first Thursday of each month.
your calendar right now. You WILL want to attend these outstanding
make it? No problem! Each
program in recorded and you can get the MP3
audio file for playing on your
computer, MP3 player (iPod or other), or burning onto a CD, a complete
written transcript for following
along and making notes and immediate access to the recorded program via
telephone replay line and link to presenter's notes and other
supplementary information here.
New Year's Gift to Our Readers-
listen to the replay of our January program-
to Find Your Soul Mate in 2007
recommended!) Dial 405-244-4000 ext. 437
New! Free Conscious Dating
This is a monthly
conference call exclusively for single readers of David Steele's book Conscious
Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World.
Got a question about some aspect of Conscious Dating?
with dating altogether?
Want some free advice and coaching?
This Tele-Clinic is for
Led by David Steele,
Frankie Doiron, and guest RCI coaches, we want to personally help you
find the love of your life and the life that you love.
Third Thursday of each month, 6:30pm pacific/9:30pm eastern
to Join: It's free! Simply
Thanks so much for being
a Conscious Dating reader
and we look forward to having you join us!
New! Conscious Dating Spot Coaching
Expert Help NOW?
Conscious Dating Spot
Coaching is a one-time consultation to address a specific problem or
challenge you're experiencing with dating and relationships.
Sometimes, when you're
feeling stuck, there's no substitute for the life-changing clarity that
a conversation with a good coach can provide. Some of our clients have
told us that one hour of coaching can be more effective than ten years
satisfaction is 100% guaranteed and you will receive a full refund if
you are not satisfied that you received the best value possible.
Free Conscious Relationship
January 11, 5:30pm pacific/8:30pm eastern
New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work
Historically in the
Western world, one model for long-term relationships has been the
companionable marriage. Passion and deep emotional connection were for
lovers, not spouses.
In the latter part of the
20th century, we woke up and began wanting more from relationships. The
new paradigm is a truly intimate marriage – intellectually,
physically and emotionally. These new demands fly in the face of our
historical experiences and expectations, often creating conflict.
Traditional therapy does not always resolve that conflict. This program
presents a new skill set for couples who want fulfilling relationships.
this teleseminar you will learn:
- Why so many current
relationships are not ‘truly intimate’
- How partners can use a
"Relationship Grid" to visualize and implement positive feedback to one
- How you can get what
you want, give what your partner needs, and have the great relationship
No need to register! As a
subscriber you will receive a reminder with the telephone bridge number
needed to join a few days prior to the seminar.
Can't attend? No problem.
The recordings of all our programs are available free at www.ConsciousRelationshipPodcast.com
Conscious Dating Success Story
of the Year
the one year anniversary of the publication of Conscious
Dating: Finding the Love of your Life in Today's World
on February 14, 2007 (Valentine's Day) we'll announce the results of
our first annual-
Dating Success Story of the Year Contest
awarding an iPod loaded with 20 of our best Conscious Relationship
Audio Programs ($369.00 value) to-
- Best male success story
- Best female success story
- Referrer of best male success story
- Referrer of best female success story
means that if you know someone who could benefit from reading Conscious
Dating, or someone who has read it and has a great success story, YOU
can also get an iPod by referring them!
will be judged by the staff of Relationship Coaching Institute. To be
eligible entrants must certify that they have read the Conscious Dating
book. Current and past members and staff of Relationship Coaching
Institute are not eligible to enter this contest. All submissions
become property of Relationship Coaching Institute and by entering this
contest entrants grant us permission to publish their story online and
Do you have a success story to share?
Go immediately to www.consciousdating.com/contest.htm
Know anyone with a success story to share? Please
forward this announcement to them!
Know a single who hasn't read Conscious Dating and is a success story
in the making? With 6
months to go there is plenty of time to learn and apply the principles
of Conscious Dating. Please send them to www.consciousdating.com
the contest begin!
Am I Fated to Be Single?
think if I was meant to be with someone he would have found me by
This column answers
questions submitted by our readers. Submit your questions to Tara@relationshipcoachinginstitute.com.
She will forward them to our coaches all over the world. Each issue,
we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.
for August: Am I fated to be single?
I’m a 38 year
old single woman. I’ve never been married. I
haven’t dated all that much, but did have several short
relationships that didn’t go anywhere. They just fizzled out.
I don’t get it.
I’m attractive, physically fit, have a great job, and own a
home. I have everything I could possibly want in life -- except the
It seems that all my
friends, gals and guys, easily found the right person. They met in
school, at a party, through church, and before you knew it …
I hate to say this, but I
think I was meant to be single. I think if I was meant to be with
someone he would have found me by now.
I still want to get
married and have a family, but I’m still waiting for Mr.
Right to show up. Do you think it’s my fate to be single?
from San Antonio
acknowledging all of your great attributes. There’s no
question you’re someone who has much to bring to a
relationship. Perhaps the only thing that’s missing for the
Law of Attraction to help you find your soul mate is what your ideal
relationship looks like.
Write down all the things
you would want to experience in a relationship. How does it feel, what
will you do, etc. This will begin the process of attracting the right
person to your life. After you’ve completed this process,
begin to look at what your ideal mate would be like. List all the
things you want to have in your partner. It’s important to be
specific when considering the things you desire.
There are no right or
wrong answers, just your desires. This process will help you attract
the type of person who meets your ideal criteria, and in turn, fulfills
your ideal relationship. Do the work, believe in the process, and soon
you’ll have that which you seek.
Lisa A. Fredette | www.lisafredette.com|
Happy New Year! I’m happy to see your clear description. My
first thought is that you speak of everything as if it is just
“luck,” whereas I see you’ve worked hard
to put in place a home and a great job! Your looks and health are also
areas where you’ve obviously put in some effort.
typically get results in the areas where we do the work.
Here are three ideas to
#1 You may have told
your unconscious mind that you’re meant to be single. Your
unconscious mind will believe you and act accordingly – that
is, it will do nothing to change the situation!
#2 You may be giving
out signals to others that you have a perfect life, and that anyone
getting close to you might mess up that perfect picture.
#3 If you
don’t wish the two items above to be true of you, now is the
time to go out and show positive interest in all the Mr. Rights you
will suddenly see around you! It’s not luck. Make the
enjoyable effort to go out and show your real interest in making a
successful life with another highly suitable person.
You may want to consider
working with an RCI coach who can help you to look at your situation
differently. He or she can work with you on understanding your values,
setting your goals, and helping you to learn about new behaviors which
will help you find your Mr. Right.
RCI coaches Lisa and
Caroline above gave you excellent advice and I couldn't have said it
are some actions I recommend for you and all our readers that share
1. Listen to the replay
of "How to Find Your Soul Mate in 2007" at 405-244-4000 ext. 437
2. Read Conscious
thoroughly and carefully
3. Join our Conscious
Dating Tele-Clinic on January
18th and the third Thursday of the month thereafter
4. Sign up for Conscious
Dating Spot Coaching, a one-time
service for getting past your stuck places
5. Be sure to join our
Dating Tele-Seminar Conscious
Dating for Boomers. Even
though you're not a boomer you share the same situation and the same
My best wishes for living
the life you love with the love of your life.
Steele, MA, LMFT, Founder, Relationship Coaching Institute
you know you can take the Relationship
Readiness Quiz at www.consciousdating.org?
Simply sign up for a free membership to enjoy the quiz as well as other
resources developed by RCI Founder and CEO, David Steele.
Alexandra Kachaturoff | Editor
Resolutions for Singles
2007… As a Conscious Single, I resolve
… when in relationship, to not lose myself and to speak my
truth with grace and dignity
… to not get caught up in feeling deprived or lonely, or for
settling for less than the conscious, spiritual partnership I deserve
… most of all,
to love myself first and foremost, and to live my own life with
courage, love and passion.
Rubenstein | www.daretotranscend.com
In 2007… As a Conscious Single, I resolve
… to be not so
much aware of my singleness, but of my wholeness; at this point I stand
alone, and capable, yet ready for love
… to show
others a wonderful example of not settling for
‘cheap’ relationships, but being precious enough to
myself to attract only those who share my life values and standards
… to bring joy
to the important people and activities in my life, for they enrich me.
Living in this way I become more attractive and happy. Then, suddenly,
great things happen!
In 2007… As a Conscious Single, I resolve
… to love myself first and foremost so that I am able to
… to take full responsibility for my own happiness and to
expect only the best from my relationships
… to fill each day with fun, joy, and love.
Sandra Rohr | www.yourpersonallovecoach.com
Making Space in Your Life for Love
by Shirley Vollett
and intimacy are virtually incompatible. When you are preoccupied with
anxiety or exhausted from over-commitment, you can’t be
available to become fully invested in the welfare of another human
being. And you can’t find the unstructured, leisurely time in
which intimate relationships thrive.”
-Susan Page from If
I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?
there space in your life for love?
Recently, a single client
of mine expressed real frustration with the fact that she was still not
in a relationship. Then she went on to talk about how overworked she
felt and how she could never find a moment of time for herself, let
alone for the things she loved to do. She felt frazzled, burned-out and
My client saw work and
relationship as separate areas of complaint. Naturally, she was
surprised when I suggested there might be a connection between them. It
seemed to me her lack of relationship was at least partially related to
her lack of time and space for herself and for her own self-care. Not
only was there no time for her, but there wasn’t any for a
Need to Make Space for Relationships
My client is not unique.
Many of us find it challenging to create time to take good care of
“If there was a
man in my life, I’d make time,” she insisted.
However, I believe that if she waits for a man to show up before she
makes time, she may be waiting a long while!
is my “first-make-space”
If you desire
something, first create a space or vacuum in your life for what you
desire. Then, what you desire will be drawn to you.
My client was waiting for
a man to show up, before creating any room or space for him to show up
into. Far from creating a vacuum, her lifestyle was actually signaling,
“Stay away! I’m too stressed and full-up
Two-Step Solution to Making Space in Your Life
1: Challenge Your Assumptions
So what can she do?
First, I invited her to challenge her justifications for her stress and
overwork which included:
“It’s just the way my job is,”
“Everybody has stress,” and “You
don’t know my boss!”
I notice there are always
abundant reasons to not take the time or create the space we need to
care for ourselves. In this day and age, it almost seems stylish to be
skirting burn-out. It’s as if we’re all competing
for the title of “Most Stressed and Overworked”.
I believe we need to give
up stress as a badge of honor. What if we were to seek the title of
“Most happy with the pace of my life” or
“More time to myself this week than I needed?”
2: Commit to Your Self-Care
Second, I encouraged my
client to make a commitment to her own self-care and well-being. That
meant cultivating habits and activities that would have her be at her
best, with the energy and inspiration to express her gifts in her work
Self-care is a very
personal thing. It doesn’t look the same for everyone.
Therefore, it is important that my client develop the habits and
practices that work for her. A quiet walk in the woods might be the
quintessential self-care act for one person, while for someone else, it
might be an afternoon of power-shopping, or a good long run.
My client got excited as
we began to explore ideas about what really nurtured her physically,
emotionally, mentally and spiritually. As she takes better care of
herself, I know my client will feel happier, less needy and more
loving. She’ll also increase her capacity to attract and
welcome a loving relationship into her life.
Copyright © 2007
by Shirley Vollett.
Vollett, Life & Relationship Coach / www.shirley.vollett.com
Dating Myths 1 - 6
by RCI Coaches
Myth #1: No one will
date me because I’m too old.
Think about how happy
80-year olds can be when they meet in the nursing home, and feel
sixteen again! We wonder if we can start again to be interested in and
interesting to someone else, especially after heartbreak.
It’s hard not to feel one hundred years old, well past our
sell-by date, and have it written all over our face!
On a more serious note, there are thousands of
sixty-something’s, raving and behaving like promiscuous
teenagers, despite the warnings they aren’t immune to sexual
diseases that afflict our society.
We know at RCI that this
is not the stuff of our clients. You hardly dare to hope for the simple
beauty of a fine friendship and for love and commitment to follow. Yet,
at a mature age, we can offer wisdom and the understanding that
kindness is above all other things. There are certainly others who have
this to offer to us as well.
There is someone out
there who is waiting for you right now. He or she is learning to deal
with the same issues as you -- those things which are keeping him or
her from a beautiful shared future. By working with an RCI coach, you
can help build your confidence based on sound, realistic truths. The
myth of “age” is self-fulfilling, as they all are.
Instead, decide to be interesting, interested, and caring, and
you’ll attract a fine character to you.
#2: Men won’t date powerful, independent women.
Women have been
programmed to believe we must be quiet, mousy, and submissive, yet
often, men are frightened of the weight of carrying such a dependent
woman! Underneath, we may be the bright, capable CEO, but we feel it is
more feminine to hide it, and so we lose opportunity after opportunity.
If we are powerful and
independent we cannot live our life hiding that fact and still expect
to be happy and fulfilled. The right person for us is one who will
appreciate our qualities. A powerful woman, who is with a man who
doesn’t value these characteristics, will experience
frustration. This is telling her that she’s in the wrong
relationship – not that her qualities are wrong!
people, men and women alike, need to be aware of their personality
styles when interacting with others. We need to make sure that our
behavior is suitable to the occasion and to the person with whom we are
interacting. More information about different personality styles may be
found at www.peoplemapssystem.com.
#3: I guess I was just meant to be alone.
There is nothing wrong
with you, nothing unlovable about you. Take a breath and read that
again. Every time you go on the “hunt” for a mate,
you’re not only the magnificent package you present, but also
you’re the energy vibration of all of your beliefs. Imagine
that you look exceptional and everyone sees your beautiful exterior;
but they also notice the energetic sign on your head that says,
“I’m not good enough” or
“I’m too old for anyone to love.”
People you meet are
responding to what they see externally as well as to the vibration of
the inner beliefs you have about yourself and relationships. Whatever
you hold in your mind, consciously and subconsciously, will be what you
create in your life. Called the Law of Attraction, it works whether you
are conscious of it or not.
“meant” to be alone unless that is what you choose.
If you choose to have a life partner, examine your beliefs. Heal and
release them, and affirm that you will now allow yourself to have that
partner. You are meant for whatever your heart desires. If that
includes a life partner, then begin the internal clearing process by
examining your inner beliefs.
Ortolano, M.A. | www.radiantpathways.com
#4: If you’re single and in your thirties, you’ll
probably be single for life.
Your thirties are the best time to find a partner. It is only during
this stage in our lives that we have a clear understanding of who we
are, what we want in life and how we want our future to look. These are
key factors in attracting a compatible partner.
Until this point, often
we’re still defining ourselves. As a result, we attract
people who help us learn about ourselves, but who are not necessarily
meant to be there for the long term. In our thirties, we’re
in a place with a more clear understanding of who we are. That allows
us to attract people who support our vision and can lead to a more
fulfilling and long-term relationship.
The hard work is behind
us. Now is the time for us to reap the great rewards. We need to enjoy
our thirties as it is the beginning of the best time of our lives.
Lisa A. Fredette | www.lisafredette.com|
#5: No one will date me because I’m overweight.
In our society
we’re told at every turn that only the slim and fit are ever
going to find a partner. And it’s true there are those who
would never consider anyone who is even an ounce over
However, we can look around us and see something very different. First,
consider all the wedding dresses (and rental tuxedos) available in plus
sizes. Someone is wearing those wedding dresses -- size 18, 22, 24
…. I can assure you that no manufacturer is going to make
garments unless there’s a need.
Next, look around you at
real-life couples. You’ll see couples of all shapes and
sizes. Know there are some people who simply are not enchanted by the
ultra-thin, some who even like the warmth and softness of a plush body.
The key is to accept yourself. Love yourself just as you are -- thighs,
belly, chins and all. Make a list of all the absolutely wonderful
things about yourself. Start with your body. Consider how well it has
served you, how well it pleases you. Look closely for your best
physical features, and list them. As you list them, feel deep
appreciation for how wonderful they are.
Next, list all the
non-physical attributes that make you a wonderful person and friend,
and that will make you a wonderful romantic partner. Allow yourself to
feel the wonder of you; to fall in love with yourself.
Adopting this new attitude, you’ll stand differently, walk
differently, and look others in the eye boldly. You’ll allow
your wonderful personality to show through because you won’t
be rejecting you before you can be rejected. People tend to believe
what we “tell” them about ourselves just by the way
we show up. If we feel that we’re good enough, others will
think so, too.
#6: There’s only one right person for everyone.
If this is true, then few
have any hope of having satisfying, life-long relationships. What if
that one right person lives on the other side of the world, and our
paths never cross? What if that one right person is already married?
What if we have been married to that one right person, but he or she
dies or the marriage fails? Are we then destined to be forever alone
It’s true that when we are in the midst of a wonderful
relationship, it feels as though this is the only person we could ever
love, and when that relationship comes to an end, we feel as though we
could never love again. However, observe all the people who have been
married, thinking that this is the one right partner, who, when widowed
or divorced, go on to find a new, even more wonderful relationship.
The truth is that we are created for love, and we can
love—deeply and with great satisfaction—many times.
Each time we love, that is the one right person for that time. So allow
yourself to love and be loved and rejoice in all you have to gain from
Rohr | www.yourpersonallovecoach.com
Reading for Singles
Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guyss
by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
Recommended by Janice D.
This book cuts straight
to the chase, telling women the most important "actions speak louder
than words" basic rule to understanding men -- if he's "into you," then
he'll pursue you.
to Get Married After 35 Revised Edition: A User's Guide to Getting to
the Altar by
Recommended by Sandra
Definitely the real
thing--none of that "act this way," "act that way." In fact, no acting
at all, just great.
More: Excavating Your Authentic Self
by Sara Ban Breathnach
Recommended by Paige
Something More is
beautiful and powerful. It filled with genuine insight, humor, quotes
and simple exercises that will help you get in touch with your
authentic self, and help you to truly honor your relationships--
especially the one with yourself.
I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?
by Susan Page
Recommended by Brenda Strausz
This is an encouraging book, one that has practical and wise advice on
how to follow through with your goal of finding the right person with
whom you'd like to be in a relationship.
Bridge Across Forever: A Lovestory
by Richard Bach
Recommended by Jeff
The search for a soul mate in novel form.
Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World
by David Steele
Recommended by Tara
Learn how to take a
proactive role in finding your ideal life partner and create the life
Visit our website at http://www.ConsciousDating.org
and join (no charge) for
cutting-edge information and tools for finding the love of your life,
Register for our
5-Day e-Program for Singles, "How To Find Your Life Partner"
Take our proprietary
Relationship Readiness Quiz
Listen to outstanding
audio programs such as "Find the Love of Your Life AND The Life That
You Love" and "Conscious Dating for Relationship Success"
Access our Knowledge
Bank for innovative relationship tools, strategies and concepts
Check out our
talented RCI-trained Relationship Coaches at http://www.ConsciousDating.org/coach
resource for singles offered by Relationship Coaching Institute, is a
worldwide relationship coaching organization dedicated to helping you
'find the love of your life AND the life that you love'. For more
information about us, please visit our web site at http://www.consciousdating.org
Exclusively For Our Subscribers
Conscious Dating Tele-Seminar Series
February 1, 2007: Conscious
Dating for Boomers: Finding Your Soul Mate After 50
Conscious Dating Tele-Clinic
January 11, 2007:
The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work
8, 2007: How to Improve
Your Relationship Without Talking About It
Conscious Relationship Podcast and Audio
Conscious Relationship Article Bank
Tired of being alone? Get
a Relationship Coach! Check out our coaches at: http://www.consciousdating.org/coach
Congratulations in moving forward in your life partner quest! WHAT NOW?
for cutting-edge information and resources for couples. You will be
glad you did! Please share this with new couples that you care about.
Are you a coach or other
helping professional who works with singles and couples? If you want to
know more about adding the Conscious Dating Relationship Coaching tools
to your professional toolbox, visit http://relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
Please share this
newsletter with your single friends, family, and co-workers, and you
can be a partner in their success, too!
Links to Us
Tara Alexandra Kachaturoff | Editor, ConsciousDating.org
Newsletter for Singles firstname.lastname@example.org
our website for singles at
and become a member
Complimentary introductory training! relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
of Relationship Coaching Network
Resources for singles and couples www.RelationshipCoachingNetwork.org
subscribe to this newsletter
refer singles your care about to ConsciousDating.org
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Copyright 2006 by
ConsciousDating.org. All rights reserved. Please share this with others
as long as our contact information and authorship is included.