Announcements
These programs provide
advanced information, strategies, and tips to help you find the love of
your life.
Each program includes the
MP3 audio recording, complete written transcript, and Study Guide to
follow along and take notes.
Program #1- Are You
Ready for Love?
Program #2- Being The
Chooser
Program #3- Ten Steps
for Finding Your Soul Mate
Program #4- Conscious
Dating: How to Connect to Your Life Vision
Program #5- Conscious
Dating for Boomers: Finding Love After 50
Program #6- Scouting:
Where to Find Your Soul Mate
Program #7- Advanced
Strategies for Sorting, Screening, and Testing
Program #8- Conscious
Internet Dating: Using Your Computer to Find Your Soul Mate
Program #9-Conscious
Dating at a Distance: What to Do When You're Attracted to Someone 1200
Miles Away
Check
them out at www.ConsciousDatingAudio.com

When
you're dating someone do you ever wonder-
"Is this the right
relationship for me?"
Our Conscious Mating
Audio Programs provide detailed, comprehensive strategies for dating
and mating, addressing all the relationship and decision-making
challenges that arise when you're single and seeking your soul mate.
These audio programs are
recorded from our live tele-seminars and include the MP3 audio file for
playing on your computer, MP3 player (iPod or other), or burning onto a
CD, AND a complete PDF transcript for following along and making notes.
Program #1- Is This the
Right Relationship for Me? Introduction to the Pre-commitment Stage
Program #2- Am I Ready
to Be a Couple?
Program #3- Finding
Lasting Love by Experiencing Your Experience
Program #4- Should We
Live Together?
Program #5- Dealing
With Our Baggage
Program #6- Are We
Compatible?
Program #7- Sharing Our
Vision
Program #8- Deciding
"Is This The One?"
Program #9- When We
Must Say Goodbye
Check
them out at www.ConsciousMatingAudio.com
Ask Our Coaches:
I'm Pregnant! What Should I Do?
... I’m pregnant. I know for a fact that my
partner
doesn’t want to have children. What should I do?
This column answers
questions submitted by our readers. Submit your questions to
Tara@relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
who will forward them to our coaches all over the world. Each issue,
we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.
Dear
Coaches,
I’m 34, never
married and am dating a divorced 36-year-old man. Neither of us has
children – yet – that is. We’ve been
seeing each other for about 6 months. Everything has been going well
and we’re definitely committed to each other.
Now, there’s a
new twist to the situation. I’m pregnant and it’s
been verified by my doctor. I do know for a fact that my partner
doesn’t want to have children. I will have this baby
regardless of whether we remain together, but now I’m in a
difficult situation. What should I do?
Cindy
from Chicago
Justine
responds …
Congratulations. Having a
child can be one of the most rewarding accomplishments in life. Since
you have decided to have this baby, with or without your
partner’s involvement, what you need to do is simple.
Tell your partner that you are pregnant and be open to his reaction.
You have no way of knowing what that will be until it happens. So be
prepared for a variety of responses.
Remember that you are not responsible for how he reacts so try not to
internalize his feelings. He willingly participated in the act that got
you pregnant and is equally responsible. Whatever his reaction, be
honest with your intentions and let him know what you would like to
happen. Give him time to adjust.
Whether your partner
embraces the fact that he’s having a child or not, you are
facing many new challenges. Your relationship and life are changing.
What type of support will you need? How can you get that support in
order to make this a positive experience?
Whatever the outcome,
I’m confident that you will do the best you can for you and
your baby. Enjoy this new phase of life you’re entering.
Justine Arian | www.ThePregnancyCoach.com
| 310.864.5884
Hazel responds
…
First, be honest with
your partner. He's the baby's father. This could have a big impact on
him. You want to keep the baby -- he might feel differently.
If he was very clear
about not wanting children going into the relationship, he might be
hurt and angry and he might feel betrayed. On the other hand, he might
change his mind when he hears you are pregnant.
I think it's important to
have a very open and honest conversation with him. Depending on the
outcome of the conversation, if he doesn't agree or if he's angry, I
would suggest you seek the advice of a therapist who can help both of
you through this.
Don't be hasty with your
decision and please think, not only about what you and the father want,
but also about the baby. I wish you the very best of luck.
Hazel
Palache | www.TheAstonishingPowerofYou.com
Cher
responds …
You stated
you’ll have this baby no matter what and seem prepared to
raise your child alone. However, it sounds like you want to explore
what possibilities exist with the father.
Apparently,
you’ve previously discussed the question of children to know
that he is opposed. Since you’ve remained together, stating
“everything has been going well,” either you, too,
were opposed or were willing to forgo having children because the
“kids or no kids” conflict is almost always an
unsolvable problem -- a relationship deal-breaker.
If moral values trumped
your relationship card while considering abortion or adoption,
isn’t it conceivable that your partner could feel the same?
Discussing children hypothetically is very different from discussing
children with a pregnant woman carrying your child. Disclose this
dilemma immediately to learn where he stands.
In highly-charged
emotional situations such as this, it is often beneficial to have an
impartial professional guiding you. Since you intend to have this baby,
regardless, seek out a relationship coach. He or she can assist you in
exploring possible options going forward, as either a couple, or as
birth parents with specific responsibilities. Good luck Cindy as your
world and waist expand.
Cher
Tanner |www.FastTrackHappiness.com
| 727.432.9494
Feature
Article:
Soulmate Redefined
by Lisa Fredette, CTA
Soulmate.
It’s a word you’ve probably mentioned when
discussing a new love interest, or encountered when reading a
relationship book. Or perhaps it’s something you’ve
wondered about to yourself as you’ve dreamed about the man or
woman you’ve recently met, or who you, one day, hope to meet.
But
what exactly is a soulmate? In this month’s feature article,
RCI Coach Lisa Fredette explains everything you wanted to know about
soulmates … and more!
Tara
Kachaturoff
Editor
Are you searching for your soulmate? Do you ever say to yourself or
have you heard others say, “I would be happy only if I could
find my soulmate”?
What exactly is a
soulmate and why are we searching for one?
Soulmate:
Defined
The Wikipedia
Online Encyclopedia defines
“soulmate” as “someone with whom one has
a feeling of deep and natural affinity.” Is this your
definition of soulmate? If not, what’s your definition?
When I found myself
single again, after my divorce, soulmate
was a word I used often. After a failed relationship you really begin
to evaluate what you want in a future partner and believe that you
should settle for no less than your true
“soulmate.” Because after all, if you find your
“soulmate,” your relationship is guaranteed to
last, right?
All this talk of
soulmates reminds me of an episode of Sex in the City. Carrie, one of
the main characters, was once again struggling with her relationships
and found herself reeling from yet another breakup. The ultimate
question came up -- “Why are we always searching for our
soulmate?”
Well the ladies decided
that they would be each other’s soulmates and the men in
their life would just be the men in their life. This would protect them
from the pain of another breakup -- or so they thought.
This got me thinking. Is
a soulmate really your other half? If that is the case, we are then
searching our whole life for someone to come along and fill that void
in our life, right? Seems to me that we are giving someone else a great
deal of power over whether we are complete and happy in life.
I’m not too comfortable with giving away my power. What about
you?
Thinking of soulmate in
that context forced me to re-evaluate my definition and my search for
one. What I found is that I needed to be my own soulmate before I would
be able to attract one. So I set out to be the person
“… with whom I had a feeling of deep and natural
affinity.” I figured out that if I could love myself
unconditionally, then I did not “need” a soulmate
to fulfill me -- when I had one -- me. Wow! Talk about empowering.
Well that revelation was
only half the battle. The real challenge was learning to love myself
unconditionally. After all, aren’t we all our own biggest
critics? How does one learn to love oneself unconditionally? Great
question!
Some of the steps that I
took toward loving myself unconditionally were through
1) Forgiveness,
2) Gratitude, and
3) Acknowledgement
Forgiveness
Personally, I think
forgiveness is the most important element. If you are not willing to
forgive yourself and others for past mistakes, you will never be able
to love yourself unconditionally.
A great definition of
forgiveness is “letting go of the belief that you can change
the past.” Isn’t that so true? Isn’t
forgiveness really about accepting what happened and moving forward?
The inability to forgive keeps you stuck in the past, re-living the
mistakes or injustices over and over again.
Recently, I heard on the
Oprah show about another way of looking at forgiveness. It was stated
that when one is unwilling to forgive, it is like taking a daily poison
and hoping the other person will die. In reality, it is you who is
slowly dying day by day. So I say -- take back your power and begin to
forgive yourself and others, today!
Gratitude
Gratitude is another
important concept. Living in gratitude allows you to appreciate
yourself and the world around you. Keeping a gratitude journal is a
great way to turn your focus from all the perceived negativity in your
life, to the positive. Try it. Complete this sentence: “I am
grateful for ….”
Acknowledgment
Finally, acknowledgements
are just as important. Can you finish this sentence: “I
acknowledge myself for …”? For many, this is
tough. Acknowledgements force you to look at all that you can and have
accomplished in your life. Again, an acknowledgement journal is great
for this. Take the time, daily, to acknowledge yourself. You will
finally find out how wonderful you really are.
If you incorporate these
small steps into your life, every day, you will start to love and
appreciate yourself. And before you know it you will have unconditional
love for yourself and will have found your true soulmate!
Copyright © 2007
by Lisa Fredette. All rights reserved in all media.
Lisa
A. Fredette | CTA Certified Life Coach
Passionate About Life Coaching
www.lisafredette.com
coach@lisafredette.com
Bonus
Article:
Internet Dating FAQs
by Sandra Rohr
Internet
dating is as popular as ever. Still, there are some singles who
question how helpful it might be and if it’s the best way of
meeting that special someone. Whatever your thoughts about the topic,
RCI Coach Sandra Rohr explores the answers to these and other questions
as she offers helpful advice in this month’s bonus article.
Tara
Kachaturoff
Editor
Q: How effective is
the internet for finding someone to date?
A: Actually,
it’s quite easy to meet people on the internet because
everyone there is looking for some sort of connection, although not
everyone is looking for the same sort of connection. And not everyone
you meet will be a potential partner.
When I started dating
using the internet, I wanted to meet my life partner and get married
right away. Things didn’t work out that way, and at first, I
was disappointed. But looking back on the last 10 years and thinking
about the important relationships I have had during that time, I
recognized that what I really needed was the experience of growth. And
each of those relationships brought me that.
I have learned much about
relationships and about life and about being with a partner, even
though none of the men I dated was my life partner. Further, the time I
spent with each one was so sweet and has left so many wonderful
memories that I can in no way regret any of them. So make use of the
internet for what it’s good for: meeting others, and be less
concerned about the immediate outcome.
Q:
How does someone know if online dating is the right thing for them to
do? If going online is simply not an option, what's the next best way
to meet someone?
A: I encourage my clients
to be open to growth and to be willing to stretch their comfort zones.
When I began to date on the internet, I was terrified! But I had a
friend who met her partner that way and I faced down my fears, which is
always a growth experience in itself. Having said that, if you are
really fearful with the whole idea, not just uncomfortable, then
don’t do it. You should never do something that really makes
you fearful.
The truth is that we can
meet our partner anywhere. Kathryn Alice, the author of Love
Will Find You , says
that even if you never leave the house, your partner can have an
accident in your front yard! But in the meantime, there are other
venues to explore. Find groups that share your most deeply held values
and interests.
Are you passionate about
the environment? You will find similar people in the Sierra Club, or
involved in political groups focused on the environment. Places of
worship are time-honored venues where you can meet a partner. The
important considerations in choosing a group are that the group espouse
your deeply held beliefs and give you the opportunity to socialize as
well. You should also feel comfortable and confident within the group.
Q:
Many singles wonder if online dating is safe. Is it? Are there any
special precautions someone should take?
A: When I began to date
online, the best advice columnists insisted that online dating was
unsafe, and that no one should consider it. And it is true that you can
meet some real jerks online. But it is also true that you can meet some
real jerks in your church. Or at work. Or in the apartment right next
door to you.
The important thing is
not where you meet someone, but that when you meet that person, you
tune in both to your intuition and to your common sense. Some
basic safety rules are:
• Only give
out your phone number when you have exchanged enough through email to
feel comfortable doing so.
• If you give
out a phone number, use your cell phone number, which is not linked in
a directory to your home address.
• Meet in
person only after talking on the phone to the point you feel
comfortable doing so.
• When you
meet, do so in a public place.
•
Don’t provide your home address until you are comfortable
doing so.
• Look for
consistency between the person’s words and actions; if at any
time you get a red light—or even a flashing yellow
light—listen to your intuition and bail.
Q:
How do you help your clients get started with online dating?
A: I start by coaching
them to become conscious of their deepest values and what they
absolutely require in a mate, as well as their own needs and wants.
This step is vital.
Then, because I was an
English teacher in a former life, I am uniquely qualified to help them
write an appealing profile. I point out the importance of having a
recent, flattering—but not glamorous—photo.
Finally, I help them post their information on the dating website of
their choice.
It's not a difficult
process, but it's helpful to work with a relationship coach,
experienced with online dating, to create an effective profile which
will help you attract that special someone.
Sandra
Rohr, M.A., is a certified
Life Purpose Coach and relationship coach, who specializes in helping
singles to connect with their life partners, and couples to establish
and maintain strong relationships.
www.yourpersonallovecoach.com
Copyright © 2007
by Sandra Rohr. All rights reserved in all media.
Conscious Dating
Resources
F`ree monthy Conscious
Dating Tele-seminars
F`ree
monthy Conscious
Dating Tele-Clinic
New!
Conscious Dating Audio Programs
Visit
our website at www.ConsciousDating.org
for FREE cutting-edge information and tools for finding the love of
your life, including:
" Register for our 5-Day e-Program for Singles, "How To Find Your Life
Partner"
" Take our proprietary Relationship Readiness Quiz
" Listen to outstanding audio programs such as "Find the Love of Your
Life AND The Life That You Love" and "Conscious Dating for Relationship
Success"
" Access our Knowledge Bank for innovative relationship tools,
strategies and concepts
" Check out our talented RCI-trained Relationship Coaches at www.ConsciousDating.org/coach
For More
Information
ConsciousDating.org,
a resource for singles offered by Relationship Coaching Institute, is a
worldwide relationship coaching organization dedicated to helping you
'find the love of your life AND the life that you love'. For more
information about us, please visit our web site at www.consciousdating.org
________________________________________
Tired of being alone? Get a Relationship Coach! Check out our coaches
at: www.ConsciousDating.org/coach
________________________________________
NEW RELATIONSHIP? Congratulations in moving forward in your life
partner quest! WHAT NOW?
Visit
www.ConsciousMating.org
for cutting-edge information and resources for couples. You will be
glad you did! Please share this with new couples that you care about.
________________________________________
Are you a coach or other helping professional who works with singles
and couples? If you want to know more about adding the Conscious Dating
Relationship Coaching tools to your professional toolbox, visit relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
________________________________________
Please share this newsletter with your single friends, family, and
co-workers, and you can be a partner in their success, too!
Links to Us
Contact
Tara Alexandra
Kachaturoff | Editor, Conscious
Dating Newsletter for Singles tara@relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
________________________________________
Visit our website for
singles at www.ConsciousDating.org
Relationship Coaching
Institute
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To
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Please
refer singles your care about to www.ConsciousDating.org
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Copyright 2007 by
ConsciousDating.org. All rights reserved. Feel free to share this with
others as long as our contact information and authorship is included.
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