If you are receiving this from a friend
and wish to subscribe, or are interested in our newsletters for Singles, Couples,
or for Practice Building, visit /forms/subscribe.htm
Wednesday September 6-
9am Pacific/12pm Eastern/5pm UK
How to Blog for Fun, Prospects and Profits
with Denise Wakeman and Patsi Krakoff, aka The
In this seminar you'll learn:
Build a Professional Blog That Gets More Traffic
to Your Website and Turns Prospects Into Paying Clients
- What is a blog?
- How a blog is different from a website
- How to create your first blog
- How a blog can boost your credibility factor
- 3 ways to make money with your blog
- How to use a blog to promote your book, products and services
- Why you need to integrate a blog with your other marketing tools like an
ezine and a website
- Plus much more.
Don't miss this teleseminar!
No need to register. This seminar is FREE for subscribers of our free monthly
practice-building newsletter GETTING CLIENTS
To subscribe and receive your invitation to this seminar, please visit http://www.buildingyouridealpractice.com
Can't attend? No problem. The recording of this program will be available
for 30 days as our Seminar
of the Month
Please share with your colleagues!
Thursday, October 12, 2006, 5:30pm pacific/8:30pm eastern
This seminar will cover:
The Journey from I-TO-WE:
Five Steps to a Successful Relationship
With RCI Coach Glenn Cohen
- How your relationship starts with "I" and the importance of a "Peaceful
- The "Seven/Seven: guidelines for effective communication for senders and
- How the past controls the "cycle of conflict" and what to do about it
- How to reach a compromise on the toughest issue in seven steps ;
- How to discover and solve each other's "Passion Equation" for lasting fulfillment
No need to register! As a subscriber you will receive a reminder with the
telephone bridge number needed to join a few days prior to the seminar.
Can't attend? No problem. The recordings of all our programs are available
free at www.ConsciousRelationshipPodcast.com
Please share with your colleagues!
The Single Most Effective Marketing Tool
for Getting High Paying Clients
- Attract new clients like magic
- Prove your credibility and expertise
- Compel prospects to contact you
- Convince high paying clients to hire you
Recently Completed Projects
Diana Long, M.S.
Steps to Living
the Life of Your Dreams
Jeff Barnet, M.S., L.P.C.
Marriage of Your Dreams
Check it out! www.privatepracticemagic.com
Introduction to Relationship Coaching
Starts October 3rd
Learn how to coach singles, couples, and develop a successful Relationship
Coaching practice, taught by RCI founder David Steele and his teaching staff.
Introduction to Relationship Coaching includes
3 one-hour tele-classes, Tuesdays, October 3, 10 and 17, 2006; 9:00am pacific/Noon
||How to Coach Singles
|| Oct 3
||How to Coach Couples
|| Oct 10
||How to Build a Successful Relationship Coaching Practice
|| Oct 17
Each class includes practical information and materials you can use immediately
in your practice.
Can't make our training dates/times? Each class is recorded for those unable
to attend, and we also offer an ON-LINE VERSION.
Please share with your colleagues! To register or for more information, visit /forms/freeteleclass.htm
Dating Success Story of the Year Contest
For the one year anniversary of the publication of Conscious
Dating: Finding the Love of your Life in Today's World on February 14, 2007
(Valentine's Day) we'll announce the results of our first annual- Conscious
Dating Success Story of the Year Contest.
We're awarding an iPod loaded with 20 of our best Conscious
Relationship Audio Programs ($369.00 value) to-
- Best male success story
- Best female success story
- Referrer of best male success story
- Referrer of best female success story
This means that if you know someone who could benefit from reading
Conscious Dating, or someone who has read it and has a great success story, YOU
can also win by referring them!
Submissions will be judged by the staff of Relationship Coaching
Institute. To be eligible entrants must certify that they have read the Conscious
Dating book. Current and past members and staff of Relationship Coaching Institute
are not eligible to enter this contest. All submissions become property of Relationship
Coaching Institute and by entering this contest entrants grant us permission
to publish their story online and in print.
- Do you have a success story to share? Go immediately
- Know anyone with a success story to share? Please
forward this announcement to them!
- Know a single who hasn't read Conscious Dating and is
a success story in the making? With 6 months to go there is plenty
of time to learn and apply the principles of Conscious Dating. Please send them
Let the contest begin!
New RCI Coaches
The following professionals recently joined our ranks:
| Balbir Chagger
| Gina Daniels
| Risa Hayes
Brain Development and Relationship
By Linda Marshall, RCI Director of Couples Programs
...When experiencing emotional intensity our frontal lobe can go on vacation
and we become giddy adolescents again. In Conscious Mating we wish to understand
and acknowledge the role of our brain chemistry in our relationship choices
There are many unconscious forces at work in every stage of a relationship
that have the potential for undermining your best efforts to sustain love if
you are not aware. Being fully aware is difficult and controlling the outcome
is impossible. You improve your chances for success in making long-term choices
if you can uncover the unconscious biological and emotional forces that may be
influencing you. In this article we’ll look at brain development as a biological
force that might be at play when you are making relationship choices.
YOUR GRAY MATTER MATTERS
Adolescence and young adulthood appears to be a very busy time for that wrinkled
lump behind your forehead. Researchers are finding that our brains don't stop
developing until our mid-20s. Understanding how your brain develops might motivate
you to change how and when you make long-term relationship choices. When you’re
growing up there is a lot more going on than the hormonal changes that have traditionally
been attributed to changes in teen behavior.
The first areas of the brain to mature are the extreme front and back sections
which control basic functions such as processing the senses and movement. Areas
involved in spatial orientation and language (parietal lobes) follow. Areas with
more advanced functions (integrating information from the senses, reasoning,
and other "executive" functions) mature last.
In an adult, the frontal lobe of the brain carries out a lot of executive functions
like planning, goal-directed behavior, judgment, and insight. This particular
part of the brain influences and manages the more emotional or gut part of the
brain, which is key to understanding behavior. As an adolescent the emotional
or gut region of your brain experiences more activation while the frontal lobe
matures later. The result is a stronger tendency to act out impulsively without
regard to the consequences. This makes you more spontaneous and less inhibited.
To appreciate consequences you have to think through the potential outcomes of
a choice. Since the reactive part of the brain develops first, and the responsible
part of the brain last, as a teen or young adult you may not be developmentally
mature enough to anticipate negative consequences of the choices you make. The
way the information comes into your brain, how the information is organized,
and then ultimately your response may be very different from a mature adult’s
ROMANTIC LOVE AND RISKY BEHAVIOR
Teens process emotions differently than adults. Mental efficiency in solving
emotion-related tasks suffers with the arrival of puberty, when gray matter volume
in the frontal lobes is at its peak. The ability of the white matter to help
the gray matter in the frontal lobe communicate with the midbrain is still under
construction. The midbrain reward system is where romantic love exerts its powers.
As a teen the parts of your brain related to emotions and decision-making are
still developing. There is a question amongst researchers about whether or not
adolescents can be taught to be more discriminating in interpersonal communication.
As your developing brain undergoes rewiring, as a teen you are particularly vulnerable
to risky behavior. The amount of stimulation needed to activate motivation differs
in your adolescent brain than in your adult brain. Adolescent brains react intensely
to novel experiences. To get the same rewarding feeling as a teen you need the
added excitement that comes from risky behavior.
While this explains our motivation, it’s no excuse for reckless behavior
or taking big risks. Understanding consequences and what's going on inside your
head promotes good choice-making. Cultural context is important as well. Even
with frontal lobes that are not fully developed, as a teen you can learn to control
your impulses if you are immersed in a culture where being conscious is of high
BRAIN UNDER CONSTRUCTION
What is only beginning to be understood is that human brain circuitry and development
doesn’t reach full maturity on average until the early to mid-twenties.
Some brain researchers estimate that the brain matures at 20-21. Others estimate
that it is closer to 25-26. These are the ages at which you are making career
and relationship decisions that will impact the rest of your life. And yet you
may not be fully equipped to manage your impulses and make good long-term choices
until your brain reaches maturity—perhaps as late as 26 years old.
Your brain’s frontal lobe—the part of the brain that controls social
activity--seems to undergo a lot of development during the teen years. At this
time when your teenage brain is changing rapidly, relationships matter a lot
to you. This is the time in your life when friends are more important than family
and what other people think of you is crucial. It is a time when you are considering
the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It is a time
when you may even meet and decide to enter a committed partnership or marry the
person you plan to spend the rest of your life with.
So, what are the implications of the timeline of development of the frontal lobe?
While as a teen or young adult you may appear to be mature and have advanced
intellectual and reasoning ability, the link between your seat of judgment and
problem-solving (frontal lobe) and the emotional center of your brain is the
last connection to be fully established. This link is crucial to emotional learning
and self-regulation. And so as a teen or young adult you may not be as mature
as you and others sometimes think you are. While you appear to be physically
mature, your brain may in fact be still developing and important neural connections
necessary for adulthood not yet established. You may not appreciate consequences
or weigh information the same way as adults do.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN IF YOU'RE OVER 25?
If you are one of the many adults who believe that one of the things that
you feel most limited by is your ability to have a really good relationship,
a really intimate relationship with another person, it is very possible that
you didn’t learn these skills growing up. We hope that by being aware of
those unconscious forces at work in your relationship choices we can balance
our youthful impulsiveness with mature, responsible choices and learn effective
life and relationship skills at younger and younger ages.
Researchers are only beginning to understand brain development. If you’re
over 25 and wondering why this is important for you to know, we’d like
to point out how common it is for us to regress in our functioning when we’re
excited about a new relationship. When experiencing emotional intensity our frontal
lobe can go on vacation and we become giddy adolescents again ignoring (or rationalizing)
long-term consequences. In Conscious Mating we wish to understand and acknowledge
the role of our brain chemistry in our relationship choices and seek to balance
our excitement in the moment with our long-term vision, goals, needs, and requirements.
© 2006 Relationship Coaching Institute– All rights reserved.
Marshall, M.Div., lives in Centerville, Ohio and is Director of Couples
Programs for Relationship Coaching Institute as well as in private practice
as a relationship coach specializing in working with couples, both over the
telephone and in person.
I invite you to share your announcements, wins, coaching or practice tips with
the rest of us. Be visible! Let's connect! Send them to me at David@member.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
I invite you to share this newsletter with a colleague. There is a tremendous
need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship Coaching is
in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market niche and position
as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants a successful relationship.
I invite you to listen to the following introductory recordings 24
hours a day at your convenience by visiting /audio/index.htm (some
are available by telephone)
- Commitment: The Secret Ingredient to Relationship Happiness
- The Communication Map™
- Introduction to Relationship Coaching
- Conscious Dating for Relationship Success
- Conscious Mating: Is This the Right Relationship for Me?
- And more!
I invite you to get the support you need to be successful in your
practice. We are available for information, training, ideas, mentor coaching,
If you are a coach or therapist who received this from a colleague,
I invite you to visit our web site and contact us at
for information on joining us and becoming a RCI Relationship Coach. Join our
free "Introduction to Relationship Coaching teleclass series.
To subscribe to this newsletter, our newsletter for SINGLES, our
newsletter for COUPLES, or our PRACTICE BUILDING newsletter, visit
For a description of RCI relationship coaching trainings, schedule,
and enrollment info, select "Joining RCI" from the left menu at
How do you like our newsletter? Your feedback is welcome!
Until next time....
David Steele, MA, LMFT
CEO and Founder of Relationship Coaching Institute
For More Information
For Past Issues of this Newsletter
The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform, and
build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find fulfillment
in their lives and relationships.
This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship
Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this with
a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!
To provide the tools, information and support to help singles find the love of
their life and the life that they love, and to help couples co-create fulfilling
and lasting Life Partnerships.
This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Feel free to share
with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included.
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