Relationship Coaching Institute News- check out our great F`REE programs this month!
Relationship Coaching News
September 2006

In this issue:

Editor- David Steele
Founder and CEO
Relationship Coaching Institute

Copyright 2006 by Relationship Coaching Institute. All rights reserved. Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#1530-3055.

Conscious Dating:
Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World

Available for order NOW at


Conscious Relationship
Tele-Seminar Series

Conscious Relationship Podcast

Conscious Relationship Article Bank

If you are receiving this from a friend and wish to subscribe, or are interested in our newsletters for Singles, Couples, or for Practice Building, visit /forms/subscribe.htm


1 Free Tele-Seminar: How to Market and Syndicate Articles to Boost Your Practice September 6
2 Free Tele-Seminar:  Conscious Mating September 14
3 Private Practice Magic Free CD!
4 Free Training:  Introduction to Relationship Coaching Tuesdays
Oct 3, 10, 17
5 Win an iPod! Feb 14

Build Your Ideal Practice!

FREE TELE-SEMINAR: Wednesday September 6-
9am Pacific/12pm Eastern/5pm UK

How to Market and Syndicate Articles to Boost Your Practice

with Jeff Herring, aka The Article Guy

Marketing and syndicating your articles is one the easiest and fastest ways to gain more prospects, publicity and profits.
In this seminar you will learn:
  • Ten different ways to market your articles
  • The best article directories
  • Three advantages of marketing your articles
  • How to submit to article directories
  • Three small nuances that will make your articles stand out above the rest
  • How to get the reader to click to your website from your articles
  • How to sumbit your articles to a brand new article directory for another stream of income

Don't miss this teleseminar!

No need to register. This seminar is FREE for subscribers of our free monthly practice-building newsletter GETTING CLIENTS

To subscribe and receive your invitation to this seminar, please visit

Can't attend? No problem. The recording of this program will be available free for 30 days as our Seminar of the Month

Please share with your colleagues!


Free Conscious Relationship Tele-Seminar:

September Program
Thursday, September 14, 2006, 5:30pm pacific/8:30pm eastern

David Steele Linda Marshall Conscious Mating

With David Steele and Linda Marshall of Relationship Coaching Institute

This seminar will cover:

  1. What is commitment in today's world
  2. The largely unrecognized phenomenon of "Pre-Commitment" when singles become couples
  3. Conscious vs. Unconscious pre-committed relationships
  4. How to use the pre-commitment stage to prevent unnecessary divorce
  5. An inside peek at David and Linda's book-in-progress "Conscious Mating," which picks up where "Conscious Dating" leaves off

No need to register! As a subscriber you will receive a reminder with the telephone bridge number needed to join a few days prior to the seminar.

Can't attend? No problem. The recordings of all our programs are available free at

Please share with your colleagues!


The Single Most Effective Marketing Tool for Getting High Paying Clients

      • Attract new clients like magic
      • Prove your credibility and expertise
      • Compel prospects to contact you
      • Convince high paying clients to hire you

What if I told you that after more than 20 years in private practice and mentoring hundreds of private practice professionals just like you, I've discovered a magic wand that can easily:

- Quadruple your response rate from presentations
- Triple your response rate from your website
- Double your conversion rate of prospects to clients

Free CD and Special Report that details sixteen specific ways you can use an audio CD to fill your practice, divided into four categories-

A) Generating Prospects

B) Converting Prospects to Clients

C) Boosting PR Efforts

D) Product Sales

To order your free CD and access this Special Report please use this link-


Introduction to Relationship Coaching

Starts October 3rd

Learn how to coach singles, couples, and develop a successful Relationship Coaching practice, taught by RCI founder David Steele and his teaching staff.

Introduction to Relationship Coaching includes 3 one-hour tele-classes, Tuesdays, October 3, 10 and 17, 2006; 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern.

Class #1 How to Coach Singles Oct 3
Class #2 How to Coach Couples Oct 10
Class #3 How to Build a Successful Relationship Coaching Practice Oct 17

Each class includes practical information and materials you can use immediately in your practice.

Can't make our training dates/times? Each class is recorded for those unable to attend, and we also offer an ON-LINE VERSION.

Please share with your colleagues! To register or for more information, visit /forms/freeteleclass.htm


Click here to enter!Conscious Dating Success Story of the Year Contest

For the one year anniversary of the publication of Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of your Life in Today's World on February 14, 2007 (Valentine's Day) we'll announce the results of our first annual- Conscious Dating Success Story of the Year Contest.

We're awarding an iPod loaded with 20 of our best Conscious Relationship Audio Programs ($369.00 value) to-

- Best male success story
- Best female success story
- Referrer of best male success story
- Referrer of best female success story

This means that if you know someone who could benefit from reading Conscious Dating, or someone who has read it and has a great success story, YOU can also win by referring them!

Submissions will be judged by the staff of Relationship Coaching Institute. To be eligible entrants must certify that they have read the Conscious Dating book. Current and past members and staff of Relationship Coaching Institute are not eligible to enter this contest. All submissions become property of Relationship Coaching Institute and by entering this contest entrants grant us permission to publish their story online and in print.

- Do you have a success story to share? Go immediately to

- Know anyone with a success story to share? Please forward this announcement to them!

- Know a single who hasn't read Conscious Dating and is a success story in the making? With 6 months to go there is plenty of time to learn and apply the principles of Conscious Dating. Please send them to

Let the contest begin!

Welcome New RCI Coaches

The following professionals recently joined our ranks:

Donna Cassity, M.Div.

Hamden, CT

Monique Hunt, Ph.D.

Benicia, CA

Mandi Neiser

Ontario, Canada

Feature Article:
Conscious Mating: Pioneering the Future of Relationships

By Linda Marshall, RCI Director of Couples Programs

...Prior to making a commitment in a relationship, or in the "pre-commitment" stage, is your opportunity to choose your future as objectively as possible.


You are the pioneer of your life. And, if you are reading this, as a member of our network you are most likely a relationship pioneer. I appreciate my colleagues at Relationship Coaching Institute and our subscribers around the world who help others have successful relationships, as well as all singles and couples who strive to make conscious relationship choices. We are relationship pioneers and can applaud ourselves for dating and mating with conscious intention. I believe our choices impact humanity more than we can fathom.


There are many misconceptions about love. Our culture glorifies the romantic love stage of relationship in literature, theatre, television, and movies. It is that initial infatuation stage of a relationship when our chemistry is in high gear and we experience euphoria. Powerful amphetamine-like neurotransmitters flood and alter our brain chemistry.

While unsustainable, the romantic love stage serves an important purpose because it gives us a taste of our best and most powerful selves. If the relationship turns out to be a good long-term choice, this stage bonds us together and prepares us to weather life’s inevitable storms. Confusing this initial romantic stage with real, sustainable love is a mistake that can be our undoing.

We want and expect to be happy, and romantic love is eternally optimistic. We don’t want to believe that when we experience this intense chemistry with someone that it won’t work. We want to avoid the pain of failure and can be tempted to try hard to fit a round peg into a square hole, twisting ourselves into a pretzel trying to “make” a relationship work.

I can personally attest to this. I have experienced this intense chemistry in past relationships that I hoped would work long-term. My most intense experience came before I was conscious of any of this. The euphoria lasted for ten months and when the relationship ended after fourteen months, I was devastated. I know now that I had been in a “mini-marriage” with this man, focusing on being a couple without examining the big picture. I was a counselor working with couples and families, and at that time I had no knowledge of conscious dating and mating.

In today’s world when singles become couples, few jump blindly into immediate commitment. Most new couples are “pre-committed,” meaning they are an exclusive couple, but they haven’t yet decided the future of their relationship. This stage coincides with romantic love, and conscious couples who understand relationships realize the need to get to know one another long enough for the infatuation to wear off and experience the reality before making irreversible long-term choices.


My training with David Steele at Relationship Coaching Institute opened my eyes to conscious dating and the “pre-commitment” stage of relationship. Soon after I joined David’s faculty and began teaching the “Conscious Mating” program for coaching pre-committed couples I had another experience of intense chemistry with a man. This time I wanted to be as conscious as possible so I hired a relationship coach who immediately spotted some serious red flags that I wasn’t aware of. She saved me the effort of twisting myself into a pretzel, trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. This time it only took me two months to recognize that this relationship would not be successful long-term. It would have taken a lot longer without her support.

Here is the radical truth: Relationships do break up. As hard as we might try to prevent and avoid relationship failure, it happens anyway. Because there are many unconscious forces at work in every stage of a relationship, being fully aware isn’t easy and controlling the outcome is impossible.. These unconscious forces have the potential for undermining our best efforts to sustain love if we are not aware.

In “Conscious Mating,” rather than unconsciously believing romantic fantasies of living happily ever after, we accept this truth. Since relationships break up anyway, why not be as conscious as possible in the process and increase our odds of success?


As a relationship pioneer I want you to know that there is no shame in seeking support at any stage of your relationship. We have no hesitation about getting support and training for jobs, careers, sports, or even volunteer activities. But when it comes to relationships, we seem to believe that we should just know how. And if we don’t, we are inadequate or there is something wrong with us. That just doesn’t make sense.

What relationship pioneers know intuitively is that relationships are complex and nothing more important than a solid relationship to bring fulfillment and joy into your life. It takes just as much support, knowledge and skill to navigate relationships successfully as it does any other important and complex activity in your life.

Getting the support, knowledge, and skills you need to find and have a successful relationship just makes good sense. Doing so before you make a commitment in a romantic relationship makes even more good sense. In fact, it is most likely the best investment you can make to assure your future relationship success.

And if you choose to move forward towards commitment, a pioneering couple will set themselves up for success by getting support before they are hit with challenges they haven’t yet learned how to handle. Couples in trouble typically wait six or more years to reach out for help, and by then it is often too late. No one is successful alone. Putting a little effort in keeping your good relationship good is a great investment you can make in your future relationship success. It just makes good sense.


Every relationship has challenges. This is normal and does not mean there is something inherently wrong with your relationship. Some challenges are solvable and can be addressed and resolved, others are perpetually unsolvable. Prior to making a commitment in a relationship, or in the "pre-commitment" stage, is your opportunity to choose your future as objectively as possible.

You can use the pre-commitment stage of a relationship to identify the solvable and unsolvable challenges in this relationship and make a conscious choice to take them on and live with them, or decide that they sabotage the long-term sustainability of your relationship and walk away while you still can with much less pain and cost than further down the road.

In pre-commitment you are in an exclusive relationship that is not yet committed. This gives you an opportunity to identify whether this relationship meets your requirements and needs for a successful long-term relationship before you make a commitment. Using the pre-commitment stage to make conscious long-term choices makes good sense.


Even if you experience the pain of breaking up in the pre-commitment stage, this prevents you from experiencing even greater pain down the road. Breaking up after a commitment is made, especially if children are involved, is even more excruciating.

Making the most conscious choice possible before making a commitment is, in my opinion, a pain-prevention gift you can give to yourself as I did when I listened to my coach and became aware of the red flags she helped me identify. It was difficult for me to make the choice to end the relationship, however I didn’t experience the devastation that I had at the end of my fourteen-month “mini-marriage.”


Six years ago when David Steele asked me to be RCI’s Director of Couples Programs, I had to think about it. When he recently asked if I wanted to co-author his next book on Pre-commitment, I responded immediately, “I’m interested.” I see Conscious Mating as another way for me to contribute to the evolution of relationship consciousness… something I am very passionate about. I’m already thinking ahead to our next book for committed couples- “Conscious Commitment.”

Our journey of capturing and writing what we've learned about Conscious Mating in the past six years has officially begun...

© 2006 Relationship Coaching Institute– All rights reserved.

Linda MarshallLinda Marshall, M.Div., lives in Centerville, Ohio and is Director of Couples Programs for Relationship Coaching Institute as well as in private practice as a relationship coach specializing in working with couples, both over the telephone and in person.



Invitation #1
I invite you to share your announcements, wins, coaching or practice tips with the rest of us. Be visible! Let's connect!  Send them to me at

Invitation #2
I invite you to share this newsletter with a colleague.  There is a tremendous need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship Coaching is in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market niche and position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants a successful relationship.

To pass the word about us to a friend or colleague, please visit

Invitation #3
I invite you to listen to the following introductory recordings 24 hours a day at your convenience by visiting /audio/index.htm (some are available by telephone)

  • Commitment: The Secret Ingredient to Relationship Happiness
  • The Communication Map™
  • Introduction to Relationship coaching
  • All about RCI
  • Building Your Ideal Practice
  • And more!

Invitation #4
I invite you to get the support you need to be successful in your practice. We are available for information, training, ideas, mentor coaching, etc.

Invitation #5
If you are a coach or therapist who received this from a colleague, I invite you to visit our web site and contact us at
for information on joining us and becoming a RCI Relationship Coach. Join our free "Introduction to Relationship Coaching teleclass series.

Invitation #6
To subscribe to this newsletter, our newsletter for SINGLES, our newsletter for COUPLES, or our PRACTICE BUILDING newsletter, visit

Invitation #7
For a description of RCI relationship coaching trainings, schedule, and enrollment info, select "Joining RCI" from the left menu at

How do you like our newsletter? Your feedback is welcome!  Until next time....

Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of Relationship Coaching Institute
Telephone:  888.268.4074


For More Information

For Past Issues of this Newsletter

Our Purpose
The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform, and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find fulfillment in their lives and relationships.

This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!

Our Mission
To provide the tools, information and support to help singles find the love of their life and the life that they love, and to help couples co-create fulfilling and lasting Life Partnerships.

Copyright Notice
This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included.
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#:1530-3055

Links to Us

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Conscious Dating for Singles
Free audio programs, e-programs, and more!

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Free Monthly Conscious Relationship Tele-Seminar Series

Free Conscious Relationship Audio Programs

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