Relationship Coaching Institute News- check out our great F`REE programs this month!
Relationship Coaching News
May 2006

In this issue:

Editor- David Steele
Founder and CEO
Relationship Coaching Institute

Copyright 2006 by Relationship Coaching Institute. All rights reserved. Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#1530-3055.

Conscious Dating:
Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World

Available for order NOW at


Conscious Relationship
Tele-Seminar Series

Conscious Relationship Podcast

Conscious Relationship Article Bank

If you are receiving this from a friend and wish to subscribe, or are interested in our newsletters for Singles, Couples, or for Practice Building, visit /forms/subscribe.htm

To pass the word about us to a friend or colleague click here


1 Free Tele-Seminar: Getting on Oprah May 3
2 Free Tele-Seminar:  Why Relationships Fail (And What to Do About It) May 11
3 New Series! Secrets and Strategies of Successful Relationships Audio recordings
4 Free Training:  Introduction to Relationship Coaching Tuesdays
June 6, 13, 20

Build Your Ideal Practice!

FREE TELE-SEMINAR: Wednesday May 3rd-
9am Pacific/12pm Eastern/5pm UK

Getting on Oprah

with former Oprah producer Maria Rose

GET BOOKED ON OPRAH: Never Before Revealed Secret Strategies For Getting Booked On OPRAH

Former OPRAH producer, Maria Rose, who has worked on the show for 4 of the last 5 years shares the hottest, most needed to know info on how to get booked on The OPRAH WINFREY SHOW


  • Why most of what you read about getting booked on OPRAH is wrong
  • The #1 pitching tip you need for success
  • 3 key ways to increase your chances of getting booked
  • What NEVER to say to an OPRAH Producer
  • Top 5 things that will annoy, irritate, and infuriate producers

In this seminar you’ll learn:

  1. The basics from how a show goes from a pitch idea to the actual tape dates
  2. Who the players are from PAs to APs to the Teams
  3. Pitch meetings: what are they and how to get your pitch included
  4. Tips for successfully navigating the pre-interview with an OPRAH producer-what will they be looking for?
  5. Questions producers are guaranteed to ask
  6. Before the pitch: how to become a dream guest
  7. If at first you don’t succeed: How to keep yourself in the mix
  8. Finding a perfect fit: From the producer’s perspective, who is the Oprah audience?
  9. Making your appearance on Oprah a success in their eyes and yours
  10. What to say to NEVER be invited back
  11. Standing out: How to spark a producer’s interest in 20 seconds or less
  12. Misinformed and misled: Why much of what you read about getting on Oprah is wrong
  13. Pitching Oprah in a Post-9/11 world, what does that mean for you

And more! No need to register. This seminar is FREE for subscribers of our free monthly practice-building newsletter GETTING CLIENTS

To subscribe and receive your invitation to this seminar, please visit

Please share with your colleagues!


Free Conscious Relationship Tele-Seminar:
Thursday, May 11, 5:30pm pacific/8:30pm eastern

Why Relationships Fail (and What to Do About It)

With Pat Love, Ed.D and David Steele

This seminar will cover-

  • Why relationships ARE more difficult in today’s world
  • Why knowledge isn’t enough
  • Why even relationship “experts” can have less than perfect relationships
  • What you can do to beat the odds and experience lasting love

No need to register! As a subscriber you will receive a reminder with the telephone bridge number needed to join a few days prior to the seminar.

Please share with your colleagues!


NEW! Free Audio Program For Our Subscribers  

Secrets and Strategies for Successful Relationships at Home and in Business

with best selling authors (and RCI members)

Paul and Layne Cutright

Program #1:
Get Over It for Good! Conflict Resolution That Really Works

Program #2:
High Performance Communication Skills That Build More Trust and Understanding in Any Relationship

Program #3:
How to Find and Transform the Hidden Beliefs That Rule Your Relationships

FREE for our subscribers! To access these outstanding audio programs please visit

This series is Free! I hope you will check them out. Paul and Layne's work is outstanding and I'm excited to share them with you.


Introduction to Relationship Coaching

Starts June 6

Learn how to coach singles, couples, and develop a successful Relationship Coaching practice, taught by RCI founder David Steele and his teaching staff.

Introduction to Relationship Coaching includes 3 one-hour tele-classes, Tuesdays, June 6, 13, 20, 2006; 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern.

Class #1 How to Coach Singles June 6
Class #2 How to Coach Couples June 13
Class #3 How to Build a Successful Relationship Coaching Practice June 20

Each class includes practical information and materials you can use immediately in your practice.

Can't make our training dates/times? Each class is recorded for those unable to attend, and we also offer an ON-LINE VERSION.

Please share with your colleagues! To register or for more information, visit /forms/freeteleclass.htm


Welcome New RCI Coaches

The following professionals recently joined our ranks:

Noeline Bain

Bryanston, South Africa

Latricia Buckner, MA St. Louis, MO
Pamela Crampton Poway, CA
Elizabeth Gorostiza Miami, FL
Sheila Lillie Campbell, CA

Feature Article:
My Relationship Journey

By David Steele

Our Conscious Relationship tele-seminar this month featuring Pat Love and myself is Why Relationships Fail (and What to Do About It). We originally planned a different program, but then Pat and I learned that we have something important in common... we are both going through our third significant relationship breakup. We decided to use this seminar as an opportunity to share a bit about our own relationship journey and address an area of relationships that, as professionals focused on helping others experience success, we usually don't talk much about- why relationships fail.

This article represents my sharing with you, my colleagues, that Maggie and I broke up earlier this year.

I didn't see it coming. Sure, we had our challenges, particularly in the blended family arena, but in our five years together I never questioned my commitment to our partnership or doubted hers. Then, at the beginning of this year she informed me that she wanted to go separate ways.

As I write this five months later, I've been living in a new abode as a single parent again and the sale of our house was recently finalized. We weren't married, so no legal paperwork was necessary. While this is my third significant relationship breakup, it's a lot easier than my two divorces.

After adjusting emotionally to a challenging situation I'm very good at getting into action and moving forward with my life. What's hard for me in this situation is understanding what happened and her decision to leave the relationship after five years. She has explained her reasons to me as clearly as she can, but I am still puzzled. I guess it comes down to solvable vs. unsolvable problems, and what one person deems solvable the other might deem unsolvable, what one deems workable the other might deem unworkable. She is a loving, intelligent, conscious, relational woman, and I know this decision was not made lightly and was very hard for her. Everyone who knows us is shocked that we broke up, as we seemed like a solid couple who were meant for each other.

After my initial reactions of deep sadness and anger, I'm now feeling more circumspect about my part in our relationship not working out and trying to learn the inherent lessons for myself and my work. Despite being a secular humanist therapist and coach, I'm also a bit of a closet fatalist; I believe there is a larger force at work in the Universe and that things happen for a reason. While I was fully committed and believed that this was the love of my life that I would grow old with, I guess it wasn't meant to be and that I'm meant to learn certain important lessons from this part of my relationship journey.

My Relationship Journey

Here's a bit about more about my relationship journey. My parents divorced when I was a kid and I grew up with a lot of unhappiness and anger around me. I felt confused and responsible, and became a therapist because I wanted to understand what happened to me and my family and make a difference in the world by helping others have successful relationships, as well as find relationship happiness for myself.

I was 21 when I married for the first time, and was determined I would never, ever get divorced. That marriage ended 10 years later, during the year I started my private practice as a marriage and family therapist. Pretty ironic. I learned the hard way that love doesn't conquer all, you can't "make" a relationship work, not all problems are solvable, and a commitment takes two.

A few years later I married for the second time, this time adding a blended family to the mix. Eight years later we divorced and pretty much repeated the lessons from my first marriage- love doesn't conquer all, you can't "make" a relationship work, not all problems are solvable, and a commitment takes two. I was devastated and sure there was something wrong with me that I couldn't accomplish my most important life goal- to have a sustainable life partnership.

My two divorces taught me the importance of the clarity and alignment of life vision and purpose, requirements, needs and wants in making a sustainable partner selection, which became the basis of my Conscious Dating relationship coaching program for singles.

I'd pretty much given up when I met the person I thought was my soul mate. She was very different from my previous partners and seemed equally passionate about conscious, committed relationships. Perhaps this is what my two divorces prepared me for... finally, a mature, conscious, sustainable relationship. We bought a house, moved in together and blended our families. Five years later, at the beginning of this year, she broke up with me. So here I am, feeling again like there must be something wrong with me and wondering if I'm meant to be alone for the rest of my life.

I know I have much to learn and these three relationship breakups are my teachers. It seems to be my destiny to learn things the hard way. I know about learning by falling down, so at this time in my life I'm picking myself back up and ready to continue my relationship journey, but I'm really wondering, why do relationships fail and what can we do to have a successful, sustainable committed relationship?

Please join Pat Love and myself on Thursday May 11, 5:30pm pacific/8:30pm eastern, for this month's Conscious Relationship Tele-seminar "Why Relationships Fail (and What to Do About It)," and we'll find out together!

Subscribers- watch your e-mail inbox for your invitation with access information for this seminar. As always, it will be recorded and made available here

POSTSCRIPT: Support and wisdom from RCI coaches

When I announced my relationship breakup to my community of RCI coaches I was overwhelmed by their outpouring of support. Below are some excerpts. I share them with you to add some perspective in the hope that as a relationship professional this inspirational wisdom from your colleagues might benefit you and your clients going through the ending of a significant relationship.

"Though it seems you're not PERFECT, you are a great person! I wish you well. Thanks for letting us know you're human."

"Having a relationship end doesn't have to mean failure if we learn the lessons it offered. The only failure is the failure to learn from the experience. If we can learn from the relationship, then the relationship succeeded in its purpose."

"Perhaps the successful committed/conscious relationship is not about how long the success is, but rather about the quality of the relationship while it takes it's course. Perhaps we do our best with all the tools, resources, supports we have to make the best conscious decision for the longest quality relationship...and, perhaps, with the Grace of God, find "The One". "

"I am wondering if the "fatalist" in you might perhaps wrap your mind around another point of view. ....and that is , " perhaps, there are no failures, only lessons , and from that we grow and become......."

"I also want to say that I really never ever see any relationship as "failing" or that "we are failures" (even though the feelings are there, I understand...I certainly have felt that way too), but that truly, we are here in this life time for personal growth and one of the very very best ways to experience personal growth is through relationships, and that includes the very beginning attraction stages right through the divorce/ending's all a blessing, it's what our soul requested coming in. "

"Your humanity and vulnerability empowers me to feel much more accepting about my own relational life."

"We're all human and just because we're Relationship experts we don't have perfect relationships; we can make the same mistakes we talk to others about not making. It's human!"

"Your words were powerful and I think accenuates the challenge that really does lay before us as individuals who have resigned themselves to study and assist others through something that often times can befuddle the most competant and well-trained of us...relationships."

"We all do the best we can with the tools we have. A lot of good people get divorced or end long term relationships."

"What an opportunity being available again with the accumulated wisdom and experiences that this stage in your life journey affords you."

I am blessed. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.

David Steele

© 2006 David Steele– All rights reserved.

David Steele, MA, LMFT is founder of Relationship Coaching Institute and author of the new ground-breaking book for singles Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World



Invitation #1
I invite you to share your announcements, wins, coaching or practice tips with the rest of us. Be visible! Let's connect!  Send them to me at

Invitation #2
I invite you to share this newsletter with a colleague.  There is a tremendous need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship Coaching is in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market niche and position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants a successful relationship.

To pass the word about us to a friend or colleague, please visit

Invitation #3
I invite you to listen to the following introductory recordings 24 hours a day at your convenience by visiting /audio/index.htm (some are available by telephone)

  • Commitment: The Secret Ingredient to Relationship Happiness
  • The Communication Map™
  • Introduction to Relationship coaching
  • All about RCI
  • Practice Building Intensive (sample conference call)
  • And more!

Invitation #4
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Invitation #5
If you are a coach or therapist who received this from a colleague, I invite you to visit our web site and contact us at /forms/contact.htm for information on joining us and becoming a RCI Relationship Coach. Join our free "Introduction to Relationship Coaching teleclass series.

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Invitation #7
For a description of RCI relationship coaching trainings, schedule, and enrollment info, select "Joining RCI" from the left menu at

How do you like our newsletter? Your feedback is welcome!  Until next time....

Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of Relationship Coaching Institute
Telephone:  888.268.4074


For More Information

For Past Issues of this Newsletter

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The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform, and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find fulfillment in their lives and relationships.

This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!

Our Mission
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U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#:1530-3055

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