Here’s a recent question from an RCI trainee-
“What is the best response when your client tells you he/she will not be okay if it does not work out how they hope.”
Before we address this common situation, let’s define terms:
Hope: A desire for something to happen.
Goal: A particular desired end result.
Attachment: (in the context of goals) Investment in a specific outcome or strategy.
Fear: Anticipation of an undesired outcome
The Law of Attraction loves positive energy such as Hope and Goals and will help you experience success as long as you’re not attached to how it happens, which requires a certain amount of trust and letting go of fear, which can be hard to do.
Attachment to a specific outcome or strategy comes from fear that if it doesn’t happen that way, the results will not meet your wants and needs. Or, that it won’t happen at all and you won’t be OK.
The above client might be using the word “hope” but if they won’t be OK if it does not happen the way they want, they are too attached and their fear will push away their desired result.
Since there are many ways to accomplish anything, what matters is what works, not that a particular strategy work.
Fear and attachment will push away our desired result, guaranteed. So to be successful we need to have hope and goals and be willing to let go of attachment and fear to be able to trust the Law of Attraction to help us get what we want.
How to coach this client?
Many possibilities, but top of mind is to play out this out with “Then what?” questions.
Coach: If it doesn’t work out the way you hope, then what?
Client: I’ll be devastated and depressed.
Coach: OK, if you’re devasted and depressed, then what?
Client: It will take a long time for me to want to try again.
Coach: OK, it will take you a long time to want to try again, then what?
Client: I will probably try a different way since what I tried didn’t work.
Coach: OK, what’s an example of what you could do differently?
Get the idea? In this example it only took 3 “Then what?” questions to redirect this client from their attachment to a particular outcome or strategy to exploring options and being able to more forward with hope and without attachment.
Try it! Before you know it you will have helped your client brainstorm alternative strategies and might even identify one that is more effective. Fear is diminished or gone and empowerment is in its place. You’ve helped your client realize they have options and they will be OK if a particular strategy or attempt doesn’t work.