5 Steps of an Effective Coaching Session

Effective coaching starts with your coaching skills and how you conduct your coaching session.

Here’s our 5 Steps of an Effective Coaching Session that we teach in our relationship coach trainings:

Step 1: Opening the Session

• Center yourself in your coaching space/presence
• Access your intuition
• Connect with your client
• Ask for their agenda (e.g. “Where would you like to start today?”)
• Consider a centering process (can be setting an intention, a visualization, or as simple as taking 3 deep breaths together)

Step 2: Checking In

• Inquire about events and progress since previous session (review assignments, progress, etc.)
• Ask clarifying questions

Step 3: Working Phase

• Ask powerful open-ended questions
• Ask questions to create awareness
• Ask questions to move the session forward
• Don’t dwell on obstacles, assume they can be overcome
• Ask permission to use coaching tools/paradigms
• Remember to ‘hit the ball’ back to the client (don’t lecture or spend too much time explaining, coaching is a dialogue, not a monologue)
• Dance in the moment with your client

Step 4: Action Planning

• Elicit ideas and strategies from your client, help them be creative (don’t be in a hurry to suggest solutions)
• Ask permission to brainstorm and make suggestions
• Use the S.M.A.R.T. goals process (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely)
• Make sure your client is in full alignment and agreement with the plan

Step 5: Closing the Session

• Summarize what was addressed and accomplished in this session
• Review agreements and action plans for follow up
• Acknowledge your client for their courage, commitment, progress, accomplishments

Important Guidelines:

1. Be sure to manage the session so you cover all 5 steps and don’t spend too much time on any one step (it can be tempting).
2. Remember that your job is to help your client access the power and answers within them (you are a coach, not a consultant or guru).
3. If you feel stuck, check to see if you are taking too much responsibility for having the answers and solving the issue for your client.
4. If your client is resistant, first check yourself for attachment to a particular idea as well as supportability/coachability of your client (the former is more common than the latter).
5. Remain as outwardly objective and neutral as possible. If you notice your own judgment coming forward, keep it to yourself.
6. Take ownership of your time. You are the one responsible for orchestrating the session, watching the clock and bringing the session to a timely close.
7. Enforce your professional boundaries and make sure your client is clear about your policies and procedures, scope or focus of coaching, payment, session time, contact between sessions, etc.
8. If you’re struggling or your client is not progressing, be sure to consult a Mentor Coach.