Join our next Practice Building Intensive- FREE to our subscribers
RCI Conference Calls
Lifetime membership now available
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1. FREE TRAINING BEGINS JULY 1ST
Learn how to coach singles, couples, and develop a successful Relationship Coaching practice.
"Introduction To Relationship Coaching"- 3 one-hour teleclasses, Mondays, July 1, 8,
and 15; 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern.
NINE CEU's are available for eligible mental health professionals participating in this training.
To qualify you must contact us PRIOR to the start of the training- Jana@RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com
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2. "ALL ABOUT RCI" CONFERENCE CALL
This is a one-hour conference call for helping professionals interested in RCI trainings and
programs. We detail our programs and membership benefits and answer your questions.
=> Monday, June 24, 9am pacific/Noon eastern
To register, e-mail
Curious about RCI/RCI? Join us! Please pass the word!
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3. NEW AUDIO RECORDINGS AVAILABLE
Interested in our teleclasses but can't attend? Listen by telephone
or web audio at your convenience including:
-All About RCI
-Introduction To Relationship Coaching
-Practice Building Intensive
-And more!
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4. "BEST PRACTICE BUILDING TIPS" E-PROGRAM
This is a FREE 14 day E-program of practical, creative, and detailed tips for building and managing
your practice. To register, send a blank e-mail to RCI-18920@autocontactor.com
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5. PRACTICE BUILDING INTENSIVE STARTS JULY 1ST
This 3 month step-by-step program for designing and building your ideal practice is FREE as a
gift from Relationship Coaching Institute. We truly wish to support our colleagues to have successful
practices, whether you chose to join RCI or not.
~June 4; Singles Coaching with Laurie Cameron
~June 11; Practice Development with Laurie Cameron
~June 18; Couples Coaching with Linda Marshall
Our conference calls are FREE to RCI Coaches, and fall on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Tuesday of each
month, 2:00pm pacific/5pm eastern
NOTE: To accommodate RCI coaches in a wide variety of time zones, these conference calls will
now be at 5pm eastern
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7. LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP NOW AVAILABLE
You now can join RCI and access all of our trainings and benefits for Life, at less than the
cost of most other coach training programs. For info e-mail Inquiry@relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
Welcome New RCI Coaches!
The following coaches joined our ranks this past month:
Barbara Arney, MA, Minneapolis, MN
Mari Bull, PhD, La Verne, CA
David Clyman, New York, NY
Joseph D'Andrea, Melville, NY
Karie-Ann Bradley, Denver, CO
Maureen Finney, Wilmington, DE
C.J. Garrett, Mt. Pleasant, SC
Thomas Jacobs, MA, Minneapolis, MN
Sharon Jones, MS, Miami, FL
Cathy Krzyzek, Hudson, NH
Marci Moore, Seminole, FL
Marsha Murphy, MSW, Spring Valley, NY
Michael Murphy, MSW, Spring Valley, NY
Maryann Parrott, LMFT, Guilford, VT
Joanne Risser-Hicks, Casper, WY
Deborah Roth, MA, New York, NY
David Williams, MA, Ontario, Canada
Pam Williams, Seminole, FL
We appreciate and encourage collaboration and partnership, and wish to extend an extra-special
welcome to our new coaches who have joined with their PARTNERS; Business, Life, or both:
Barbara Arney and Tom Jacobs (MN)
Marsha and Michael Murphy (NY)
Marci Moore and Pam Williams (FL)
THANK YOU for telling your colleagues about RCI!
Congrats!
CONGRATS TO Salila Shen (CO) for her recent RCI certification as "Certified Relationship
Coach For Couples."
Salila is already a "Certified Relationship Coach For Singles," and is on her way to
becoming a "Master Relationship Coach," our highest designation.
CONGRATS TO Tom Lieberman (CA) who is President of the Monterey Bay Coaches Association,
which just became a local Coachville chapter. For info e-mail MBCA@tomlieberman.com.
CONGRATS TO Barry North (WA) who writes:
"I offered a Lesbian couple a month of free couples coaching. I told them that I was doing
this so that they would know what couples coaching is about and if they found it valuable they'd
tell their friends. My experience has been that most people have no idea what relationship coaching/couples
coaching is about and immediately think of counseling/therapy.
We had our 4th session today. They not only said that they would tell their friends, they decided
to commit to 2 more months of paid coaching. I've enjoyed working with this committed couple,
and am looking forward to having many more."
CONGRATS TO Barbara Schwarck ( PA) who writes:
"I was recently approached by a local TV station to talk about Relationship Coaching for
seniors. At the end of this month I am actually going to be one of the guests on this talk show."
Our coaches are certainly committed, talented, and making things happen! It is my honor to be
part of this community that is making such a difference in the lives and relationships of others.
Have a win you would like to share? Any graduates from your RCI coaching "find the love
of their life and the life that they love?" Please pass it on and we'll celebrate it!
Relationship Coaching Technology:
HOW TO KNOW IF A REQUIREMENT IS MET
By David Steele
It seems to me that you need 3 things to know whether a requirement is being met in a new or
pre-committed relationship:
A TESTED REQUIREMENT
A requirement is so core to who you are and what you need, that you would have to leave a relationship
if it wasn't met. When this much energy exists around something, it tends to force or drive
events.
If you are ambiguous about whether a requirement is being met, just give it time, and if it
is not being met the issue will get larger and larger, until it eventually breaks the relationship
up, regardless of the wishes of the partners.
Requirements are not just an abstract "list" of ideas or values; they are so big and
so core to be absolutely real and unambiguous. If you are unsure, have to think about it, or
if it is possible to live with it missing in a relationship, it is NOT a requirement.
AN OPERATIONALIZED REQUIREMENT
This involves being specific about what the requirement means behaviorally. What would need
to happen or not happen for it to be met? Events are unambiguous- traits, values, ideas, labels,
etc are too vague.
For more info, read "Operationalizing
Requirements"
YOUR EXPERIENCE OF THE REQUIREMENT
What matters is that the requirement is met in a way that works for you. You can rationalize
and argue "trust," but what matters is that you have the experience of trust that
is important to you in a relationship.
When we put language to requirements, we are really trying to describe and be conscious of something
we must experience in a relationship for it to work for us. This can be subjective, but in the
end, that is all that matters.
You might ask, if you have trust issues (for example), then isn't it your "stuff" and
not about your partner? ALL requirements are about YOU, and it is largely up to you whether it
is met or not.
It is not your partner's job to meet your requirements without effort on your part. What matters
is, when you take responsibility and apply effort, that you can get your requirement met with
your partner in a way that works for you.
Early in a relationship, it is not always clear if a requirement is met or not. If you are single
and screening a possible partner, or in a pre-committed relationship, and you are not sure if
a requirement is met, you can choose to give it more time.
If you give it more time and you are STILL unsure, I would take that as a "No." If
you have been conscious and intentional about your relationship, you will be no further than the
pre-commitment stage, and while breaking up is hard, the relationship is reversible.
Once a commitment is made, it tends to be irreversible and the consequences high for breaking
up. Unmet requirements are not justifications for walking away from a committed relationship;
the decision to walk away from a relationship is best made BEFORE making a commitment.
Practice Tips:
SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL COACHES
by David Steele
A small percentage of coaches that enter our profession are able to make a living from coaching
full time. Of those, even fewer are achieving "success" by anyone's definition.
In my experience mentoring coaches to build their practices, I have found successful coaches to
share the following characteristics:
PASSIONATE
Highly successful coaches love their work, and are so excited by it that they would do it for
free, and have no thought or intention of retirement. They truly could not imagine doing anything
else, and consider themselves lucky to have the best job in the world. Their passion is easily
expressed, and very attractive to their potential clients.
POSITIVE
These coaches always have a "can do" attitude. They truly believe in themselves and
trust that they will find a way around obstacles to survive and thrive, and thus are able to
effectively empower their clients to be positive as well. They assume abundance instead of scarcity.
While they may experience fears and doubts, they are never reasons for "no."
ENTREPRENEURIAL
Highly successful coaches have an entrepreneurial attitude, consider their practice a business,
and take the trouble to learn and apply the business skills needed to be successful. While most
helping professionals understandably wish to focus on serving their clients and resist the business
and marketing aspects of their practice, successful coaches enjoy the challenge of pioneering
a successful coaching business that is an expression of their gifts, mission, and purpose.
PLAY LARGE
Successful coaches are always expanding by growing themselves and their practices. They desire
to play as large as they can, and take every opportunity to do so. They get impatient with the
status quo, and are always in motion seeking to maximize their time, energy, opportunities,
and resources.
CREATIVE
Highly successful coaches pioneer their work with their clients and their coaching practice.
They like to build on what they've learned, and are excited by developing their own approaches
to their work that express their gifts, talents, and perspectives. Most enjoy the thought of
writing a book or developing a program that would make a unique and powerful contribution to
the world.
SERVICE-ORIENTED
Highly successful coaches truly wish to make a difference in the world, and are grateful for
the opportunity to be of service to their clients. While they may have their financial goals,
they wish to practice "right-livelihood," and it is more important for them to fulfill
their mission and purpose than it is to be financially successful.
WALK THE TALK
Highly successful coaches believe in the value of coaching, have their own coach, and are enthusiastic
clients as well as coaches. They put time and effort into developing themselves and building
the life that they really want, while they are making a living helping others do so. They have
walked in their clients' shoes, and continue to do so.
***Would you like to be a highly successful coach?
Join our PRACTICE BUILDING INTENSIVE starting July 1st. Believe it or not, it's FREE. To register,
send a blank e-mail to PBI-July02@yahoogroups.com
I invite you to share your announcements, wins, coaching or practice tips with the rest of
us. Be visible! Let's connect! Send them to me at
I invite you to share this newsletter with a colleague. There is a tremendous need for our
services, and we need to work together. Relationship Coaching is in its infancy, and we must
collaborate to build our market niche and position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who
wants a successful relationship.
Finding The Love Of Your Life AND The Life That You Love
Conscious Dating For Relationship Success
All About RCI
Practice Building Intensive (sample conference call)
And more!
I invite you to get the support you need to be successful in your practice. We are available
for information, training, ideas, mentor coaching, etc.
If you are a coach or therapist who received this from a colleague, I invite you to visit
our web site and contact us for information on joining us
and becoming a RelationshipCoachingInstitute Relationship Coach. Ask about getting a free copy of our introductory
audiotape, and about our free teleclasses.
To subscribe to this newsletter, our newsletter for SINGLES, or our newsletter for COUPLES,
see this page.
For a description of RCI relationship coaching trainings, schedule, and enrollment info, visit
http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
How do you like our newsletter?
Your feedback is welcome! Until next time....
Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of RelationshipCoachingInstitute/Relationship Coaching Institute
The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform, and build a strong
community of coaches dedicated to helping people find fulfillment in their lives and relationships.
This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship Coaches, and is available
to interested others. Feel free to share this with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback
are welcome!
Our Mission: To provide the tools, information and support to help singles find the love of their
life and the life that they love, and to help couples co-create fulfilling and lasting Life Partnerships.
Copyright notice: This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Feel free to share
with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress
ISSN#:1530-3055
