1. HAPPY NEW YEAR! WE ARE NOW "RELATIONSHIP COACHING INSTITUTE!"
"RelationshipCoachingInstitute" will continue to provide relationship coaching
for singles and couples, while "Relationship Coaching Institute"
will provide relationship coaching training, certification, and practice
development for helping professionals. We continue to be the first, largest,
and only international relationship coaching organization. Check out our
new web site at http://www.RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com
---------------------------------------------------------------
2. RCI OPEN HOUSE Friday January 4th
This will be a one-hour conference call for helping professionals interested
in RCI trainings and membership benefits with David Steele, Jana Collar,
and Colleen DeCew. We will present an overview of our programs and organization,
and there will be time for your questions. We invite you to join us by
calling 865-362-4150, PIN 0723 on Friday 1/4 at 9am pacific/Noon eastern.
Please pass the word!
--------------------------------------------------------------
3. PRACTICE BUILDING INTENSIVE Starts Jan 10th
Includes optional weekly teleclass and listserv for ideas/support.
~NOT ENOUGH TIME? No problem! Only takes minutes per
day
~NOT ENOUGH MONEY? No problem! ALL the steps can
be completed without cost
Step-by-step, detailed, 3 month program FREE to RCI members and PBI alumni,
only $59.00 for non-members.
For more info visit http://RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com/resourcecatalogue/PBI-OL.htm
Please share this with your colleagues!
--------------------------------------------------------------
4. "CONSCIOUS DATING®" BOOK EXCERPTS
To receive weekly excerpts starting January 7th of this soon-to-be published
book for singles, send a blank e-mail to RCI-11112@autocontactor.com
For more info about this book, check out http://www.ConsciousDating.com
---------------------------------------------------------------
5. RCI IS APPROVED FOR CEU'S
We are now able to provide CEU's for our relationship coaching trainings
to most mental health professionals at very reasonable rates. For example,
our Level I Singles Coaching Training will earn 30 CE units for $55.00.
Participants in all of our future trainings, including our free introductory
series, will be eligible to apply for CEU's.
----------------------------------------------------------------
6. INTRODUCTION TO LIFE COACHING
Pat Williams of the Institute For Life Coach Training will be conducting
two FREE one-hour teleclasses on Life Coaching,
Wednesdays, January 16 and 23 at Noon pacific/3 PM eastern.
CHECK OUT PAT'S NEW BOOK "Therapist as Life Coach: Transforming
Your Practice" published by Norton and chosen to be a main selection
of the Behavioral Sciences Book Club. Check
it out here.
We are very excited about two new services provided by RelationshipCoachingInstitute:
-- RELATIONSHIP READINESS REVIEW FOR SINGLES
This 10-question quiz is designed to help singles determine their level
of readiness for a relationship, and provide suggestions for improvement
in each of 10 areas. The complete web-interactive version is available
here as well as described below in this month's "Relationship
Coaching Technology" article.
-- RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS FOR SINGLES TELECLASSES
This affordable, convenient, and life-changing series has four, month-long
teleclasses, can be taken in part or as a whole, and are taught by our
Master Relationship Coaches. For more information visit http://ConsciousDating.org/members/rests-teleclasses.htm
Single? Check it out! Please pass this on to the singles in your life
that you care about.
7. RCI COACH CONFERENCE CALLS
~January 8; Practice Development with Laurie Cameron
~January 15; Couples Coaching with Linda Marshall
~ January 22; Singles Coaching with Laurie Cameron
Our conference calls are FREE to RCI Coaches, and fall on the 1st, 2nd,
and 3rd Tuesday of each month, 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern
Welcome New RCI Coaches!
The following coaches joined our ranks this past month:
Damian Flanagan, M.Div., Coral Gables, FL
Lynn Hagin, MFT, San Clemente, CA
Jonathon Pourau, Ripplonlea, Australia
Michelle Zelig, Ripplonlea, Australia
Congrats!
CONGRATS TO Charlie Siegel, (CA) who writes:
"I had my first "on the air" appearance Thursday, December
20 as the featured guest on therapist Stuart Altschuler's weekly radio
show, "Tell The Truth, Faster!". Together, we discussed the
differences and similarities between coaching and therapy, and answered
call-in questions from our audience of listeners. For more information,
you can access Stuart's website, www.tellthetruthfaster.com"
CONGRATS TO Miriam Resnick, (OR) who writes:
"Wanted to report on our well-received, highly interactive "Sex
In The City" program. 25 people did not want to stop talking!!!"
CONGRATS TO Chris Wolf (NJ) who writes:
"I was interviewed by the Philadelphia Inquirer regarding an article
they will be doing on coaching. The referral came from Dr. Ben Dean, my
mentor at MentorCoach.com. I mentioned RelationshipCoachingInstitute and also gave
the reporter the web site address."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Our coaches are certainly committed, talented, and making things happen!
It is my honor to be part of this community that is making such a difference
in the lives and relationships of others.
Have a win you would like to share? Any graduates from your RCI coaching
"find the love of their life and the life that they love?" Please
pass it on and we'll celebrate it!
Relationship Coaching Technology:
RELATIONSHIP READINESS FOR SINGLES
By David Steele
Most singles are seeking a committed relationship and date with that
goal in mind. Many are not ready for commitment for a variety of reasons,
but they don't want to be alone, and so they date to find a partner anyway.
When their dating strategy doesn't align with their readiness status,
these singles unconsciously set themselves up for failure, complicating
their lives and those of their dating partners.
Just because you want something doesn't necessarily mean you're
ready for it. Many variables can interfere with your readiness for a committed
relationship with someone you meet, such as being involved with someone
else, going through a divorce, financial trouble, career demands, family
obligations, physical health challenges, or mental/emotional health challenges
such as addictions, depression, or anxiety disorders.
It would be a tragedy to meet your soul mate and not be ready for them.
Getting involved in a relationship before you are ready can create a shaky
foundation of unfinished business that eventually brings a relationship
crashing down.
To assess your readiness for a committed relationship, rate yourself
in each of the following ten areas. Try to be objective and honest
with yourself. We recommend asking close friends and family members for
their opinions as well.
READINESS REVIEW FOR SINGLES
Rating Scale: Rate each item on a scale from 0 to 10
8-10: This area of my life is strong and would be an asset to my next
relationship
5-7: This area needs work, but most likely would not sabotage my next
relationship
0-4: This area could interfere with the success of my next relationship
I KNOW WHAT I WANT
I have a clear vision for my life and relationship. I can envision my
perfect life in rich detail that feels strong, very real, and keeps
me motivated.
I KNOW MY REQUIREMENTS
I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that
I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing,
a relationship will not work for me.
I AM HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL BEING SINGLE
I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends, and my own company.
I am living the life that I want, and I am not seeking a relationship
out of desperation and need.
I AM READY AND AVAILABLE FOR COMMITMENT
I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My
schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a
new relationship.
I AM SATISFIED WITH MY WORK/CAREER
My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle, and does not interfere
with my availability for a new relationship.
I AM HEALTHY IN MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT
My physical, mental, or emotional health does not interfere with having
the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel
good.
MY FINANCIAL AND LEGAL BUSINESS IS HANDLED
I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having
the life and relationship that I want.
MY FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS ARE FUNCTIONAL
My relationships with my children, ex, siblings, parents, and extended
family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I
want.
I HAVE EFFECTIVE DATING SKILLS
I initiate contact with people I want to meet, and disengage from people
who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries,
and balance my heart with my head with potential partners.
I HAVE EFFECTIVE RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate
authentically and assertively, negotiate difference positively, allow
myself to trust and be vulnerable, and can give and receive love without
emotional barriers.
----------------------------------------------------------
RESULTS: Add up your scores to determine your relationship readiness:
80-100: GREEN Light: You are well on your way to the life and relationship
you really want
50-79: YELLOW Light: Continue to work on the areas needed and take it
slow in relationships
0-49: RED Light: Take a break from seeking a partner, focus on your life
and prepare for the relationship that you really want
NOTE: We suggest that ANY area rated 0-4 result in a "Red Light"
and that you consider taking a break from seeking a partner until that
area is improved.
HOW TO HANDLE "I CAN'T AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW"
By David Steele and Barry North
We had a great Practice Building Intensive conference call last month
in which we brainstormed how to address the common situation where a potential
client is interested in your
services but says they "can't afford it right now."
PROBLEM: Often we talk to potential clients who express an interest in
coaching or our workshop only to hear them say that they "would like
to, but cannot afford it right now."
QUESTION: How can we shift prospects from scarcity mentality to abundance
mentality, from potential clients to clients?
SOLUTION #1: Educate them about the Law of Attraction. (Wherever you
place your attention, that is what will come to you.).
Once they understand the concept, ask them:
A. If this is what you are thinking (e.g., I can't afford it), what
do you think will come to you?
B. How can you attract abundance?
C. How can you attract what you want?
SOLUTION #2: Discuss turning crisis into opportunity.
When people lose their job, they are often in a crisis mode. This is
a prime time for people in such circumstances to re-define their lives.
Help them see the opportunities open to them at this time.
SOLUTION #3: Do an "Abundance Exercise."
Ask them to think about what abundance they have in their lives. Help
them see that they already have abundance. Ask them what they are grateful
for, what their strengths, assets, and opportunities are.
SOLUTION #4: Use a box metaphor for a paradigm shift from scarcity to
abundance.
At the present they are in the scarcity box. When you are in a box you
can't see that there are other boxes out there. Ask if they are willing
to switch boxes to the abundance box. What would that look like? What
opportunities are open to them in this new box that wasn't in the old
box? What is the payoff for them staying in the scarcity box, and what
is the cost?
SOLUTION #5: Turn "I can't!" into "How can I?"
We often tell ourselves (and others) "I can't... I can't afford
it. I can't find the time. I can't find anyone right for me. Ask them
to write out all the things they "can't" do. Then ask them
to change each of these to "How can I?" Suggest that they
ask their friends to help them figure out how they can do these things.
Barbara Sher http://www.barbarasher.com talks about this in her book "Wishcraft."
SOLUTION #6: Assess whether the person is ready for change by either
asking them directly ("I wonder if you are ready for change?")
or indirectly by listening to them and asking other questions. If your
assessment is that they are not ready, don't waste your time trying
to convince them.
I invite you to share your announcements, wins, coaching or practice
tips with the rest of us. Be visible! Let's connect! Send them to me
at
I invite you to share this newsletter with a colleague. There is a
tremendous need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship
Coaching is in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market
niche and position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants
a successful relationship.
I invite you to listen to the following introductory recordings FREE
(except for long distance charges) 24 hours a day at your convenience
online, or by calling 918-222-7201 and entering
the extension #:
#347: Introduction to Relationship Coaching for Singles
#346: Finding The Love Of Your Life AND The Life That You Love
#345: Conscious Dating For Relationship Success
I invite you to get the support you need to be successful in your
practice. We are available for information, training, ideas, mentor
coaching, etc.
If you are a coach or therapist who received this from a colleague,
I invite you to visit our web site and contact
us for information on joining us and becoming a RelationshipCoachingInstitute
Relationship Coach. Ask about getting a free copy of our introductory
audiotape, and about our free teleclasses.
To subscribe to this newsletter, our newsletter for SINGLES, or our
newsletter for COUPLES, see this page.
How do you like our newsletter?
Your feedback is welcome! Until next time....
Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of RelationshipCoachingInstitute/Relationship Coaching Institute
The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform,
and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find
fulfillment in their lives and relationships.
This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship
Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this
with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!
Our Mission: To provide the tools, information and support to help singles
find the love of their life and the life that they love, and to help couples
co-create fulfilling and lasting Life Partnerships.
Copyright notice: This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights are reserved.
Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information and
authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#:1530-3055
